Careless me....

Today i did two stupid things....

First one, i accidentally spill my soup.......
My mum cook it....
I bring to my work place....
And i put it on my table....
But i did not put it safely....
And the soup jump down the table....
I was not in the office....
But my friends saw it.....

I WASTE THE SOUP....
It was so nice....
And i took a lot of it....
Waste....
No more.....
I will ask my mum to cook it again....
Sad.............

Second, i cannot start my car.....
I believe i accidentally press some button....
And cause it to prevent me from starting my car....
So, i called my dad.....
And just by the time he reach....
I already can start my car....
Stupid, right?
Yes, it is....
Who did it???
Me...........

Haiz...........
Need to be more careful.....

But recently my mood is not that good....
Cos worry.........
Worry......
And worry..........
I don know how to come out of it........
Worry.........
Scare.........
Wat if i cannot go to study??
Where is the stuitable place???
Where can i know the answer???
I don know.'....
And i am scare....
When ppl ask me, where are you going to study?
I don know how to answer....
There are no plans in my mind............
I really don know....
Can stop asking me this question???
Stop asking me............

Don know..........
Worry.....
Scare...........
Helpless........
Careless..............
Emo...........
Moody.................
This are my recent mood...........

Worry..

Worry about my future....
I think everyone is same as me....
Sad....
Worry......
Don know wat to do.....

This is a game....
ANd i must know how to play....
I must know the rules in order to win.....
And i also dare to take the risk....
Either win or lose....
Get to continue study or don............

I don like this game.....
But i have to do it........
Sad................

Kampate.....
I know my future is in gods hand....
All of my hopes, dreams and plan....
He give me strength to life....
And plans to succeed....
I believe in him............
Cos i know he believe in me.....

I want to be a faithful servent....
And help those who are in need......
And bring joy to others......
I know i can do it......
Cos i can do all things through christ.....

Seems like very holy....
But actually i am not....
Learning.......
To trust god and have faith in him...............

KAMPATE STARRY..................

Sad.....

Today receive an email from NTU....
They reject my application.........
Cos a lot of ppl apply and they can only give limited spaces.....
So they reject me........
Cos i did not match their standard.....
Need to find school again........
Cos i thought i can get in........
I really like there....
But now have to change ady....
Continue in persuing my studies...........
I know there is a school for me to study....
KAMPATE.............

EMO........

Sorry.......
Back to the emo me again..........
I really don know how to come out from it..........
Suddenly feel like leaving this place to have a brand new life..........
Or reverse the time............
Wat will i do if i can reverse the time............
Don know........

The recent me is emo..........
Secretive.........
Don feel like telling others how i feel........
Wearing a mask..........
A happy mask........
Let everyone think that i am happy ........
But actually i am not...............

I am too weak..........
Cos i cannot do anything...........
And i don know wat to do.........
Something that i cannot handle well........

I feel like a lot of things to do............
Feels like don know where tro start........
And don know how to do.........

EMO...........
EMO............
EMO.................

Starry is just emo......
After a while i will be better............
Maybe until tat time........
I can finally step out of it.........
I will be able to tell others how i feel...........

Maybe i have hurt someone in this period of time...........
I am sorry.........
I maybe hurting u knowingly or unknowingly............
But trust me........
I don want to hurt you.........
I don want to make others sad..........
But i want everyone to be happy............
I am truly sorry if i hurt you..........
I know i will recover...........

One day, starry will take off her mask.......
And be a truly happy girl............
Let time heal everything............
Let situation mould me into a better person.............

EMOING................

First farewell.......

We celebrate our first farewell....
For me and my sister......
The first time so big group..........
13 people go watch movie......
We watch clash of the titans...
Quite nice..........

We want to take a group picture............
But too big group.....
Sad.....

Then we go and eat at food and tea.......
Have fun there.........

So going to miss them........
But i need to go and study....
Going to leave a place where i have so much memories....
I have to go too.........
Nice to be with them........
Time has come...........

Meeting old friends.......

Today, after work,
I go and meet my Form 6 friends.......
Fun...........

I promise my mum to have dinner at home......
So, after work, then dinner........
Then only meet them.....
I reach jusco abt 7.45......
Then we go eat secret recipe........
Then pp have to go back
Cos work..........
Then go shopping with hazel.........
Then go back........

Miss my family members in school........
Hope to see you all again..........

Stress.........

A bit stress out...........
From everywhere around me..........
Don know how to handle it.........
Really need to relax myself...........
And prevent myself from thinking negatively..........
Stop myself from all those thought..........
I know games and online only help me to forget about it for a while..........
But still want to enjoy that little time of relax.........
Cos i really don know wat to do..........
Emo me..........

Readjusting my life..........
In order to fit the me now.........
The busy and harder life.........
Confused and don know wat to do........

Blur about my future.......
Sad.........
Worried........
Confused.........
Scare...........

Lots and lots of feeling...........
Mix together...........
Haiz.........

Starry want to grow up...........
Time to change myself..........
I want to be a butterfly..........
Evolve from caterpilar to butterfly..........
Be a grown up girl......
Fully grown up and mature..........
Sweet and gentle............
No more playful starry.......
But mature...........

KAMPATE STARRY............
YOU CAN DO IT..........

Changing herself......
And think positively.......
No longer live in perfection.......
But optimistic.........
Know how to say sorry..........
And change from mistakes.......
Change from my bad habits...........

STARRY DON WANT TO BE PERFECT..........
STARRY WANT TO DO HER BEST...........
KAMPATE.............

High heels.....

I love high heels......
I know it does not help much.........
In increasing my height....
But i will wear it when i want to be an adult.........
When i don want people think that i am a young little kid.........

Although my friends laugh me......
Cos my shoe is so high........
About 10cm......
But i know when to wear it........

I love high heels........
Although my leg so pain after wearing it..........

First time wearing high heels and dance.........
Haha........
Surprise.........
Although leg pain,
But fun........

Haha......
Conclusion, i love high heels..

Starry and Szeung

Both are so similar yet different............

Szeung is my real name........
Starry is my 'vitrual' name...........

In the life of Szeung, there are things that she don want to face and say it out...........
In the life of Starry, there are things she can say.......
Cos no one know who is starry.....
Except for her close friends.....

Szeung has to be careful of wat she say.......
Starry no need...........

Szeung and Starry share the same thought cos is the same person............
Szeung and starry have the same personality........

But Szeung is more childish.........
Starry is more mature..........

The way Szeung and Starry think is different.........
Starry is a internel site of me.........
Szeung is a external site of me......

But the problem that both are facing is growing up.....
Both of them cannot deny that one day we have to grow up....
But it takes time to face it.........

Kampate to both of us.........
STARRY = SZEUNG.........