Dad, Happy Birthday....

Today call back home....
Wanted to tell my dad that happy belated birthday....
But could not say it out....
I am not very close to my dad...
Only when things happen i will be close to him....
He is the one who teach me a lot of things....
Hearing him lost his phone...
I use this topic to chat with him...
But i really could not say it out...
I don have the habit to wish my family happy birthday...
Maybe is because i am with them...
And we always went out together...
This is first time where i am here....
Hearing his voice...
I am preventing my tears from falling...
I seriously don want them to worry....
I know....
They doted me a lot...
It makes me fell really guilty...
I am not strong enough....
I am really not strong enough.....

Dad,
So sorry that i forget your birthday...
I am really not purposely one....
It just that i really forgotten....
Happy Belated Birthday....
I miss u, dad...
Badly....
My only wish is that you will be healthy....
Don not worry about me...
I will be fine....

Things that should be done...
Things that should be say...
I really don dare....
Is time to grow up....
More independent...
More mature...
More caring...
More kind...
More self discipline.....
I need all that....
But the current me cannot...
Hope that i may really grow up....
And don not let my parents worry about me...
Smile....
Kampate.....

Time is the best medicine....
Courage is the thing that i need the most....
Smile is the thing that i can give to the others...
Sadness is the thing that i want to push it away.....
Smile, starry....
Tomorrow will be better......

想家。。。。

我又想家了。。。
已经不只是第几次了。。。
真羡慕朋友。。。
他们的家很靠近。。。
所以，
总是能听到他们说回家。。。
我却不能。。。
算一算。。。
已经两个月多。。。
没回家了。。。
虽然下个礼拜。。。
没有课。。。
我却不敢回。。。
我好怕。。。
回了就不回去读书。。。
成绩会考的好差。。。
不想让家人失望。。。
不想那一个fail回家。。。
可是我却好想回。。。

说了。。。
不再写emo的post。。。
可是，我真得很辛苦。。。
今天听到了父母的声音。。。
眼泪就忍不住了。。。
一直掉下来。。。
为什么我得去将远读书。。。
或许我应该感到庆幸。。。
我不是出国读书。。。
否则我一年只能回家一次。。。。
我不是去sabah和sarawak读书。。。
回家很麻烦。。。
我应该感激了。。。

我需要信心来支持下去。。。
今天，我就哭个够吧。。。
不想再哭了。。。
哭够了就可以了。。。
这些话。。。
说了又说。。。
但不知几时我才能做到。。。
只能更坚强了。。。

我会更坚强。。。
我会笑着的。。。
我会认真读书。。。
我会拿好成绩回家。。。
我要努力做到。。。
加油。。。。

Fat week.....

Why do i say so??
Cos it is a fei lo ship week...
Haha.....
Cos having fellowship with friends....
And having good food everyday...
So is going to be so fat....

So start my week from monday....
A group of friends come up from JB....
They are here to attend the seminar....
And we have a chat....
When we are having dinner,
I did not stand up and take the food...
My friends ady take for me...
And is a lot.....
Like they want me to eat more....
Then we walk around new town in Kampar....
To let them know more about kampar...
Not just me alone....
But a few of us who are studying here.....
Then we have a fun time together.....

So tuesday,
Have class in the morning....
Viewing slides in the afternoon....
Going to Ipoh in the night.....
There got a ceremony....
A church has bought a new building and decided to offer it to god...
So it is a dedication ceremony.....
I am happy cos i meet my godbrother...
Long time no see ady....
He is from Ipoh...
That time when i am in my upper six,
He went to my church to attend a training camp for 5 weeks....
We know each other at that time...
He likes to touch my head.....
I don like it....
So always fight with him....
Just play one only....
He say i look like a primary students....
So that is how we play and finally know each other...
And then i started calling him kor kor.....
Haha....
Funny right....
But once a brother will always be a brother....
Then chit chat with my friends...

So wednesday,
Actually wanted to go to pasar malam....
But i scare my friends ady go back when i reach there....
So i decided not to go....
Then going to having dinner with another group of church's friends.....
We have fun playing around......
Then finally can touch keyboard....
Then be a very busybody person...
Haha....
Changing....
Don want to say a lot of things ady......
Then we go have supper........
So this three days i am having my supper everyday.....
Haiz....

Then  thursday,
Going to the mountain to pray with the pastors....
Then having lunch....
Is funny to hear an aunty ask my friends....
Saying am i her daughter....
Funny...
She is only older than me for not more than 10 years......
7-8 years only....
Then they don believe that i am studying in uni....
And i ady can get the key....
I am like a  for 3,4 or 5 students....
I am forever young....
Haha....
Then we say goodbye to my JB friends since they are going back.....
And i get to see a guitar which my dad used to have one...
But he sold it ady...
To my friend.....

Then on friday,
I woke up late...
To pass up my reports....
A...
That time was scary...
But just pass up....
The after attending seminars,
I go and have MCD with friends....
And i totally cannot remember where i put my purse....
Then i found it in my rooms....
Haha...
Blur me...
In the seminars,
I don like the first speaker when i could not understand....
Then second speaker is very cool...
I like the way he speaks......
Nice looking....
Haha....
Then third speaker,
Okok...
I can understand....
And he make sure that we can follow.....

Then  saturday,
We are having test...
Hate that lecturer....
The paper is hard...
But he keep saying is easy right....
I feel like scolding him....
Then i tell my friends....
I really feel like scolding him in blog....
Then my friends say i always scold ppl at blog one...
Haha....
Now no more ady...
Seriously hate him....
Don like him....
Don want to be teach by him again.....
Then at night...
Have a fun and crazy party with my coursemate......
And one of the lecturer....
Going to miss her badly....
And BM Y1S3 rocks.....
Haha....
we really are crazy....
We seems like drunk but we did not take any alcohol....
Haha.....
Taking a lot of picture....
Playing around.....
 Fun.........

Have to start preparing for test le....
Or else cannot cope......
Kampate starry....
I can do it....
Smile.....

7th of April....

Seriously don know wat tittle should put....
Don know how to describe my day....
Haha....

So today start of with late to lab....
Last minutes print report and photocopy things....
I think this is a habit of most of us ba....
Do things last minutes....
Haha.....
Try to change....

Then, cook myself curry rice......
The curry is in tin one la....
Don think that i am so good in cooking that i can cook curry...
No la...
Is my mum bought for me....
Is a bit spicy as i put not enough water to dilute it...
But still can eat.....

Really long time never go back to church le....
Today go back....
Then i cannot go my friend's house to eat spaghetti......
Sad.....
They cook one is very nice....
Hais.....

But going back to church is kinda fun....
Going back to place which is warm....
Got ppl still remember me...
And ask why i did not come....
Really learn a lot today....
Although is hard,
But don stop....
Change to become better.....
Kampate, starry....

I know i got a lot of weaknesses....
Life is meant to be like that.....
Improving on myself.....
Although is hard...
But going to do it......

Then lastly,
I get to play keyboard....
YEAH...........
Haha....
Kena my friends complaint la.....
' your nail so long can play keyboard'
'can. after that it just break only'
Haha....
This is me.....
Going to work harder to improve my piano skill.....
Cos just now feeling my finger ady harden....
Not as last time.....

Today finish the last episode of anime are out........
A.........
Finally........
Cos they plan is 23 March will be out....
But u know la...
Japan earthquake.....
I am feeling sad for them too....
Just hope that they can come out of it...
And rebuild their home.......
Jia you, Japan.......
The last episode of anime.......
I kinda not satisfied with it.....
But ok.......
I love anime......
Haha...........

Smiling everyday....
Chasing away the emo feelings....
Is wat i wanted to do....
Work harder for finals also...
Did badly in midterm....
And friends around are happy cos they are higher....
And i feel glad for them....
This also help me set the next target....
Aim higher.....
Get better....
Kampate......

Life maybe not as good as we think....
But we have to continue....
Don just stop there.....
Kampate....

Hoping tomorrow will be a great day.........

Trip to KL and a visit from my parents.....

Long time never write a happily post ady....
Haha....
Cos happy things can share with friends...
But things that make u angry and sad often happen when friends are not around...
Haha....
So blog is the only place where can voice out my feelings.....

March,
Super duper busy....
Test, reports, presentation, assignment and project....
Exhausted and stress....
Thats why a lot of nightmare and frustration....
Don know how to balance it...
Now going to think about happy things...

This trip started with discussion about jogoya....
My friends told me that jogoya having discounts...
And is very cheap....
And my friend go and check the details and post it in FB....
And one of the couple is going to celebrate their anniversary...
So we decide to go there....
I am going with the sakai family....
The voucher is like two person about 100 ringgit...
Where normal day, each person about 100 ringgit....
So i bring my sis to go with me....

Then on Thursday, my lab session was cancelled...
So i skip my friday class and go there....
Spend time in my sis place there....
Then on friday, we go eat jogoya....
The queue was scary.....
And people simply jump queue....
Is kinda angry.....
But those aunties is like that de la...
Don know why...
Aunties usually are the one that are less educated and only know how to gossip....
Haha......

Finally get in....
Take a lot of good food....
And funny things happen....
One of my friend got drunk....
I did something bad....
Cos i don know that food that are wasted will be charged....
So i really cannot finish it...
Then i destroy it.....
Haha.....
Naughty me....
:P......
But i got force myself to finish it....
And i end up vomit....
In my sis place there.....
Then my friend, K say to me....
Better don force urself to eat when u r full...
U will hurt ur stomach....
Now i learn a new thing.....
We eat from 10 like that until 12pm....

Going out with my sis is very de troublesome.....
Cos she is so quiet.....
And people talk to her, she don answer one....
So i kinda like scold her....
Then my friends say why i scold my sis...
But they only see that i scold her....
They never see the time where she bully me....
Haiz.....
I am so ke lian....
Finally my sis can mix around with my friends...
And one of my friend are so shock...
When he saw us fighting.....
He was like this also can fight....
But we are very close la....

On saturday, we go eat chills....
The food there is super big...
Three of us cannot finish two serving.....
Haha....
Then we took picture....
Playing with the nerd's spec...
Haha.....
After that my friend, J go back to Kampar and i remain in KL....

On sunday, i go to church with my sis....
And i find it so familiar....
Is like i went back to my church in JB....
First there are friends that are from JB there....
And the speaker....
Really like a speaker that i once known....
Then we go eat lunch...
After, they eat durian....
Since secondary life,
I don like to eat durian le...
Don know why...
Just don feel like eating....
Then go sunway pyramid....
Just walk around only...
Hope that next time i can go there again....

Then rushing my reports...
And going back Kampar on Monday....
And i miss the train...
Cos overslept...
Is so funny....
I blame my sis that i could not wake her up....
Then she blame for being so slow....
Cos i keep my things last minutes...
Then finally take bus back....

In KL...
Kena bully by ants and mosquito....
Kena bite by those two insect....
Hate it.....
Finally reach back kampar.....

In church there, learn something about home...
My home is not only in JB....
Not th place where i live only...
There are still some more places that i can called as home...
That is my church there....
Hope that one day i cal called Kampar here home....
Haha.....

On tuesday, my parents come out and see me...
My dad wants to clear his leave...
So my parents come and visit me...
They go to KL first to meet with my sis...
And my sis ponteng class to see me...
Since her bar list ady out,
No need to worry le...
Haha....
My mum bought me a bag and a small fan...
Cos my hair grew longer and thicker...
Is very hot here in Kampar....
So i need a small fan....
Haha.....

Then we spend time eating and shopping....
Buy a lot of food and vegetable....
Can cook myself a meal ady....
Haha......

Is fun to spend time with them....
It refresh my spirit and make me fight more...
There is no place better than home...
But yet god throw me here....
Why?
Out of my comfort zone.....
No more comfort zone....
But struggle to get better...
It makes me know how to take care of myself and be more mature.....
Is time to grow up...
And be someone that is more mature....
Kampate starry....

Starry promise herself....
Since she cannot change not to be emo....
Then she try to reduce the time....
Cos no matter how emo...
Life goes on....
So give herself only one day to emo....
After that,
Have to smile again...
Smile that is from heart not just pretending...
Kampate....
Starry can do it...
Smile....... :)