Piano or keyboard.... Is time to make decision....

Ok, after i was given a choice, i feel a bit down and don know wat to do...

Then on saturaday, my friend ask me to replace him for keyboardist....
So i give it a try... I think is hard.... cos:
1. I don know wat should a keyboardist do...

2. I don know the sound and wat kind of sound matches the song most suitable....

3. I want to play more but cannot cos keyboard cannot cover the piano sound....

So i think piano suit me the best....

And i want to train myself to become better.....

If someone willing to trian me as a keyboardist, i think i will take up the challenge.
But as for now, i don think so.....
Cos i am facing my STPM this year....

So....... KAMPATE......

On wednesday......

On that day, we get a chance to bully our junior....... haha....

Cos that day is orientation day..... So can bully junior .....

On that day we can watch their performance...
I like the indian dance... It is nice.....
Then others is still ok...

On that day, we use our handphone illegally and open.Haha...
I don know teacher got see us or not la......
haha.....

Den we have explore game.... I am not feeling very well that day...
So my friend help me a lot... I only have to jaga the time.
So i can relax for a while... Haha...

Then some of the junior kena tipu lo...... Haha By our ketua orientasi...

Then we have our lunch. That is Macdonald...
The delivery late for 30-45 minutes. We get to enjoy our lunch...
But we feel so so hungry. Then our teacher advisor give some advise to us...

After that, we go to cs to watch movie. TRANSFORMER 2: THE REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.
So cool... The sound effect is so nice.... Super nice...

Then we go back home. When i reach home is so so tired.... But is fun...

Hope got another time to go watch movie with my friends again. Cos only left half a year den we will face our final STPM exam and seperate...

I will miss my friend after STPM... But we still can contact each other using msn, facebook and blog...

Just hope that we can still keep in touch.... Haha....

TERRIBLE FIRST DAY.....

On the first day, my terrible school (current) [don feel like telling others later kena tangkap] announce that they got KLUSTER SCHOOL.......
The pk hem announce that 'we' got not only kluster but KLUSTER KECERMELANGAN....
Don know where got cemerlang, 'ze me lan' only la.........
Acoording to the syarat la...... I don think they are qualify lo.....
Don know how they get one.....

When they show us the syarat for kluster school...... Last year SPM results does not meet the syarat, then the school blame the students.... And ask the student to do well.
If they do not do well, they can kick student out...[speciality of kluster school]
I was thinking the teacher also don know how to teach, still got some good one la..... how do they expect the student to do well.....

During the assembly ho....... the PK hem tell a lot of things that not important....
Waste a lot time in explaining... telling us that this award is so hardly get.....
A lot of nonsence.......

I want to go back early to class... Cos is BIO [ the only period that i will really focus on what teacher is teaching... And the teacher is super nice.... ] Finally finish..... use abt 25 minutes......
Our class is normally the first class to go out... Some ppl's bag is in class.... So they will go out first.... We were nicely walking then suddenly kena called by our discipline mistress. The reason they give is so stupid.... ' Sebagai pelajar di sekolah kluster, kena ada disciplin. Beratur dulu'secara berdua-dua baru boleh keluar.'

WAT A STUPID REASON....
We are form 6 students..... We r pra-univesity students..... Treat us like primary kids....
No choice but to follow.....

Then our timetable change AGAIN.... Luckily the first period is MATHS...... Then i don care how much time is taken....... When the teacher come in to distribute the exam paper, he got comment a bit but i did not listen..... I don wan to waste time.......
When he start to write down all the working, first i got listen... but when io hear him insulting us, i stop listening already....

WHY DO I HAVE TO LISTEN TO A TEACHER THAT INSULTING ME???
NOT WORTH IT.... and WASTE OF TIME.....

He see us not listening and start to talk something that are not abt maths and often is lame joke and nonsence........ Not make any sense one..... Wat a stupid.....

Wat makes me angry the most is wat he say about our spm....... He always say that this is form3 / 4 /5 even primary work....... I could not stand it when he say
' I DON KNOW HOW YOU GET AN A FOR YOUR SPM RESULTS. IF I GIVE YOU FORM 4 TEST PAPER I THINK YOU WILL FAIL THE TEST.'

I am so angry and frustrated.... Wat do u mean by saying that.... All of our A's is get through cheating......... Sorry ho...... Do you know, during my form 4 and form5 i never get a B for my add maths..... I always get A for that...... The lowest is 78 and 79 where i just need one more mark to get an A1.... You are insulting me..... And i don think u deserve my respect.......

I don know why he always like that??? I just colud not stand it...... Sometimes i feel like i don want to be in class... I don care if u teach or don teach...... I don care u can teach or not..... BUt please DON INSULT US WITH THAT....... Will that make u a good teacher??? No It just make you worst...... If u don insult us, i think i can accept you..... But throughout the year, i had have enough..... I don want anybody to insult me like tat..... cos that is my best subject and the one i love most...... And i don want anyone to insult it..... If u say current results, i still can accept but don talk about the pass...........

I really don understand the way u teach..... i think is for the benefits of others that u teach slowly.... But please don waste our time...... I think sometime u r good.... but don overdo things....... I think my friend will know who is it...... But just keep it here......

Thats the end...... After that my day seems affected, but there joy and laughter with friends.......

After the test....

After the test, we have two week holiday...

After holiday, when we go back to study.... this is the moment we fear the most...
That is.................

RESULTS......

On the first day, i am so so so worry.....
I scare i could not do well in exam......
Den i will kena NAGGING FROM PARENTS, CANNOT USE COMPUTER AND TV....
And the most worry one.... is EVERYDAY STUDY NON STOP.....
I am so so worry.... But got a feeling will be bad.....

But actually still ok after taking the results..... All fall between 60 to 70..... except for my physic.... Actually i did not study finish for all my subject and especially my physic....
Study half way fall asleep......

But i really want to thank God for letting me pass..........
At least pass... My parents still got nagging..... But not as terrible as i think.
But still want to study.... cos it is very important for further study......

KAMPATE....

Today.................

Feeling a bit better...........

At least my family is behind me...... They are there when i need support...................
When i am alone, they are there to lift me up.............
When i am home, there is sense of belonging........
At least i know i am wanted...................

Now feeling quite good..... when i start to think this way.......

Maybe i am just scare of lonelynesss...........

Sometime it seems like monster that are going to eat me up.................

Friends and family..................

Both are important and help in different area....................

It is time to wake up and stop being so EMO................

Time to set my new goal...............

Time to be a better person....................

Time to use my gifting well...............

Time to be a person god want me to be..................

I WILL HAVE HOPE AND COURAGE FOR EVERYDAY............

Wat a EMO me........

Sometimes...... I could not stop thinking about wat's happening aorund me......

Sometimes...... I hate when i feeling so good or not bad.... and a suddden news turn my feelings upside down.....

Sometimes...... I am think i am just a girl who cannot do anything..............

Sometimes....... I feel sad when being left out from a group who is so close to me........

Sometimes....... I am feeling don know wat to do........

Sometimes....... I AM FEELING MY LIFE IS WORTHLESS......

Sometimes....... I don know wat to hope for.......

Sometimes....... I would rather be a inviscible person........

Sometimes...... I would hide in a shadow and cry.........

Sometimes....... I have to be strong in order not to let others worry.......

Sometimes...... I feel like giving up.......

Sometimes....... I feel like i am siliy......

Sometimes........ I feel like going to hide in a place......

Sometimes........ I feel like runing away......

Sometimes........ I don know who to talk to................

Sometimes......... I feel like no one will come to my funeral.......

Sometimes....... I feel like tomorrow is nothing........

Sometimes....... Sometimes..... Sometimes.......

Sorry today a bit emo.......

Although i know god will always be with me....... I know god will always be there........ I know god love me........ i know god care for me....... i know god pay a huge price to save me........... I know god wants me to be the best...... I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW................................

But for me is so hard to follow........................ Cos i am so so so not use to it............

Wat would u do????? If your world is falling into darkness...... and u cannot save it.........

Somebody save me....... God save me.......

Don let me be ever so lonely and feeling so worthless.......

I don want to feel tat again........

I am scare and don know wat to do.................................

*Sis and friends if u see this don tell my parents...... i don want them to worry...... I believe the time will pass......................

I believe i will have hope again.........................

SOMEDAY AND SOMEHOW............................

Piano or keyboard...... Wat a difficult choice????

Today i am facing a hard decision..... Cos I don know how to choose.................

I am given a choice to switch from pianist to keyboardist......
[ For those who are not in my church...... I am a pianist in bilingual adults service....]

The reason is they want to put into 4 group..... And there is 5 pianist in the team......
And they hear me saying i am interested in keyboard....... So they ask me about that.....
[In each team there is only one pianist...]

It is hard to choose... Last time i really want to be a keyboardist..... [ cos i have no confident towards myself... and i think i play very bad...] So when i really tried out, it is fun..... And i really can play...... I can play but not quite well also.........

So hard to choose............... I was thinking to switch for a few month even a year..... But my dad told me that if i want to switch back is so so so so hard......

Don know wat to do....... Feeling a bit down and emo......

I think after this one i will continue to write some post that i should update about my life......

LIFE IS............................. UNKNOWN....

I don know wat will happen after that..... Just continue to read.... i will post my decision next week....

Wat a difficult decision.....

During holidays... thursday....

On thursday, i am going out with school firend....

I am very busy ho.... Always run here and there...

On that day, i am going out with
Hazel Jie Jie
Eileen
Lillian
Jolene
Xin Ning - Da jie
Prescillia - Pipi

On that day, i am the first one to reach jusco...[cos my dad cannot fetch me at 12 something...]
So have to go there early.... Spending an hour in popular....
Wat do i do??? Of course is read story books lo.... Got go and see some STPM books la.....

At almost 12.30, i sms to pipi.... but she never reply me.... so i wait outside red box lo......
It feels so siliy to stand outside red box..... I saw outside cinema there got not much people.....
Do you know why i say like that??? Cos before that, on wednesday.... there are a lot of people lining up to buy ticket to watch movie..... Thats the difference between a movie day and non-movie day.... haha.....

Finally i saw their shawdow from far away...... Then we meet up.... Eileen and Lillian went to ask for rooms, other are talking include me..... The redbox staff say that currently there is no room for us to sing.... so we have to wait until 2.30....... We are ok with that....

Most of us did not have our lunch.... Except for Lillian and Jolene...... So we go and have our lunch.... When we enter the restaurent, we feel hot... so so so we go around the restaurent to find a most cooling and suitable place [ cos we got 7 person and we wan to sit together ] ....The food is still ok..... But some tat we order is cancelled........... but overall still ok.....

After eating is shopping.... Most of us is doing window shopping.... Only hazel and lillian got buy something....

Then we went to redbox.... I saw some of my church friend.... We went to our room.....

IT IS SO SMALL................

I hear tat this is only for 4 person..... [ This is my first time going so i don know ].... the waiter always come in.... and disturb us.... He give us a wrong impression about our drink.....
He say he hlp us to order milo.... but actually is coffee and a lot of ice.....Eileen start to take out the ice and put it into a plate where is filled with snack.... And all of us start to follow....
And we make and 'ice kacang' [ cos is ice + kacang or peanut ] ........... Haha.....

We sing for two hours only, [ i don think got two hours lo.....] in the middle we got skip some song cos no lyrics..... HAIZ........... And we can only put 30 songs in one list.... Seem like too little space for putting song.... I think most of us is not very happy la.... But still ok....

After that we go shopping.... and i went back first..... Cos my dad come and fetch me after work.... Lillian also want to go back first cos her mum will be scolding if late....
So we say goodbye and back home......

Is Fun to hang out with friends.......

Next time lets plan an outing again..... HAHA.................

Wednesday............... Happy and fun

Just as i write in the last post......

I am going out with my church friend....................

With who???..........
There are
Me - Dolphin
My Sis - Polar Bear
Tiffany - Tikus
Charlene - Monkey
Hui Min - Kangaroo
Ryan - Hippo
Bryan - Doggy
These are my church gang...

To...... Jusco.......

Do wat ?.......... Watch Movie

Wat movie?...... Night at the museum 2

Ok.... Let me start from the beginning...

We plan to meet at 12.15p.m. But it seems like Chinese Tradition.
Everybody reach almost 12.30.
Bryan is the first one to reach. My sister and i second.
So.... They go and buy the ticket first. I am left there to wait for others...
Poor ME... But Luckily i just wait for a while then my friends come already.....

When we are buying the ticket, ryan received a call from our friend jackren. He say he want to join us. So we buy the ticket for him. But in the end he cannot make it on time...

After that we go and eat our lunch. Suddenly bryan saw his mum walking into the shop. So he tries to hide from his mum.... ( don know why???) But in the end, he thought his mum saw him. Actually his mum did not saw him. Ryan think it is because of his height....haha.....
The food there is not very nice, but still ok only. A bit not nice. Sorry I won tell u wat shop is that. So find out urself....

After that we go separately, two boys go to play game.... with my sis....
I go with hui min to buy sweet.... Tiffany and charlene go to buy things.... I am not sure wat is that..... Then we go to cinema. After buying popcorn and drink, four of us, me, hui min, charlene and tiffany.... wait for the boys. I called my sis and ask her come here quickly, but her reply is
' both the yan [ bryan and ryan ] are still playing, cannot stop, scold already, but no use......'
Haiz............ This is not good... Boys actually let girls wait for them......
SHOULD PUNCH THEM.... haha.....

We meet our church friend there. Felinda, Dorothy, Sarah and others ( cos cannot recognise..... Sorry) They are watching the same movie but different place.....
The movie is funny...... I like the part where Einstein doll sing ' thats the way'
Is so so so cute........ Not one not two but i think about seven or eight......

After that, we go shopping and play..... After that we go home already.... Seperately and different time......

Ok thats all..... Talk next time...

Holiday....................

o.... My Goodness..........

Holiday is coming......

Finally can have a nice rest after exam.......

Exam is very very hard.......

Finally can play................

My holiday is packed.... There is a series of activity waiting for me......

Starting from today, 1/6/2009 - stay at home online
2/6/2009 - Pengajian Am tuition.... 4.30 - 6.30
3/6/2009 - Go out with church friend
4/6/2009 - Go out with school friend
5/6/2009 - Maths and chemistry tuition

8/6/2009 - Sister's birthday, going out to play badminton, gathering
9/6/2009 - Church camp
10/6/2009 - Church camp
11/6/2009 - Church camp
12/6/2009 - Church camp
13/6/2009 - Church camp

So.............
I will not be in jb for 5 days starting 9 -13.
So... my friend don miss me ....
haha