Finals right now....
But then seems like no stress at all.....
Second one down......
Two more to go....
The next one coming very fast...
Haven start prepare....
Totally no mood...
Just now have a wonderful lunch with my friends...
And right now bombarding myself...
With nice and cool fast songs......
They are so hot....
Make me go crazy....
Haha...........

Let me laugh as much as I can.....
Cos next paper I will cry....
Hope not...
But is super hard....
Really......
Is well known killer subject....
I know it will be hard...
But I will do my best...
Then let god do the rest....

Today's paper I really thanks God...
I only use one and a half day to finish study and go into exam...
I even don have time to read the second time...
I just read through...
Read the tips...
Thats all....
I may be worried...
But when i see the paper,
I thanks God...
I know how to do....
but then is not a very good habit la....
To do everything last minute...
Although the pressure is very good...

Today, entering the hall...
See a sweet on the table...
Is like so nice...
Sugar is good for brain as they help u to think....
Think more...
Haha......

Two more paper to go...
And i am going to my home sweet home...
Miss home so much.....

Time to start study....
Princess will work hard here...
And do her best in this brand new castle...
Smile........ 

This study week is the most amazing study week in my life....
Is fun yet i am able to study....
Although the progress is super slow....
And one most important thing....
No stress....
Totally no stress at all....
Not like totally...
But even tomorrow I am having exam...
I haven finish study...
I still feel super relax...
Thinking there is still a lot of time where there is not much time left...
God really give me a different yet amazing study week....

Friends here,
are like my family....
Although they still cannot replace the importance of my true family, my church family and my shining friends in my heart....
To me,
I found a new place called home...
Princess has found a new castle....

Last week,
Actually i not really understand...
Until now...
I understand le...
I finally understand...
Time that we share,
Friendship that we have,
There is nothing can compare with it..... 
Although sometimes I still feel like shut myself out,
It lessen....
I really thank God for it....
God give me friends...
Friends that really care for me and help me....

I am not prefect..
I am still like a child...
Act like it...
Think like it....
Behave like it...
Still haven grow up and be more mature.......
I am forever a Princess...
In my own world....

Tonight,
chat with friends....
Got a chance to listen to their love story...
How they get together with their bf....
You will feel like...
I want one too...
I know,
I am still not good enough...
Too much weaknesses in my life...
I still need to grow....
Grow to be better....
I know I can...
And I am waiting for the one that god prepare for me...
Training myself..
To become better....

Princess Starry is fine here...
Fine in reality...
Fine in her own world...
Smile, Princess....
Be brave to face the obstacles ahead.....
:)

又伤到人了。。。
我就是这样。。。
总是学不会。。。。

今天，
我没想到，
我下手尽让这么大力。。。。
伤到人了。。。

现在感到超后悔的。。。
真的。。。
应该去道歉的。。。
还是怕怕的。。
不过，
我会鼓起勇气去道歉的。。。
毕竟错的人是我。。。

他真的很疼我。。。
是我的错。。。

世界上，
最难原谅的人，
是自己。。。。。。

加油，
我不想在作一个带次的人。。。。

God know whats ur heart one...
Today, i truly experience it...
Seriously....
Now let me start the story of my recent life....

So story starts with test marathon....
Non stop test and event....
Wed one, thursday, friday, saturday and Easter event on Sunday...
Monday test....
So, the test marathon ends on Monday but it is not the end...
Thursday got one more and next Wednesday got another test...

As stress builds up,
I realize one thing....
I cannot sleep...
I don dare to sleep....
Keep forcing myself to study....
I don feel that i am living in reality....
I feel like i am living in my dream....
But it is so real....
I fell pain when i hurt myself....
I keep hurting myself and i fell pain...
But it seems so unreal...
Feel like in a dream...
Really in a dream....
And i truly wish that it is in a dream.....

Second thing is i cannot cry....
I wish that i can cry...
Even though is in deep sadness...
No tears...
Totally no tears....
I cannot cry....

Stress plus missing home...
Making me miserable here.....
Making me not the girl that people used to know...
Even i myself find myself weird...
What have happen to me??
What make the person right now??
What cause me to be the person that is standing in front of you smiling??
I don like my smile...
I don like who i am right now...
But i cannot change it....
I wish that i can cry...
I really wish that i can cry...
Crying like a baby....
Let all the stress and sadness within me....
Flow out as tears come out...
I pray to god...
Saying that god, let me cry....
Let me cry, please....
Seems like nobody realize me being different...
Still the same me in appearance...
But i know i change.....

God see my heart....
Today i felt it...
Deeply...
I can be sure that God separate me and my sister for a reason...
He put us in different place for a reason.....
I know it...
Today i just felt that way...

So after today service,
My friends pray for me...
When i listen to their prayer,
I fell touched...
As they speaks out my problems...
They tell me what am i lacking in my life right now...
I cry...
Tears just fall down...

God understand me....
Really....
He knows that i miss home...
I miss home badly...
So, he give me a home here...
Friends that really like family to me....
Friends that would care for me....
Really take care of me...
People from other place,
They can see that our relationship is very close...
I really thanks god for that........
I really thank god for that..........

They help me to pray for a nice sleep..
I don think i am sleeping peacefully...
Stress and missing home find its way to haunt me....
Like today,
When singing songs,
Memories just fly to me....
One of the song today,
Remind me of my primary 6 trip...
My dad is worried...
But god use that song to tell him that,
His daughter is safe....
I am missing home...
But this is something that i need to overcome...
I miss home...
But i know i am going back home...
Soon...
Really soon....

Stress,
From study,
From family,
From everywhere...
Study is the most stressful one....
Really...
Plus i am worried of my family....
My sis and my daddy fighting..
I will be worried...
Even though my mum say don care about them...
But i still worried....

Today i got a feeling...
I believe is from god..
Tell me that i have a home here...
Here, is here...
Home...
A place where i can call home....
God knows it...
And he prepare a place for me to call home...
Home............

Study hard and study smart...
This is what i can do for now....
For right now....
God will lead my way...
As my life is in god's hand...

Princess Starry found a new castle here....
Now she got one more castle to protect her......
She will happy again...
Be a cheerful princess.....
And be a brave princess.......
:)

如果，
救一个人要牺牲另外一个人的性命，
你会为了救那个人而牺牲另外一个人的性命吗？？

如果，
那要死的人，
是你最爱的人？？
你会牺牲一个无辜的性命去救他吗？？

人的心，
是如此的脆弱，
又如此的刚强。。。。

我现在没有爱人，
所以无法体会那种爱到为了救他，
而牺牲另外一个无辜的性命。。。
现在的我，
真的觉得那样很傻。。。。
每一个人的性命，
是如此的珍贵。。。
是无价之宝。。。
不需要为了什么大义而牺牲掉。。。

什么是大义？？？
真的比人的性命还要重要吗？？
是值得人为了他而死的吗？？

不明白。。。
真的不明白。。。。
为什么？？
只觉得很伤感。。。。。

世界，
不能像我思想中的这么美好。。。。
他是残酷的。。。。。

只有坚强了。。。。
作一个坚强的公主。。。
：）

I'm coming home...
I'm coming home...
Tell the world that I'm coming home...
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday...
I know my kingdom awaits and they forgiven my mistakes...
I'm coming home...
I'm coming home...
Tell the world that I'm coming....
Home....

Home,
I miss u that bad...
Until i go shopping that time,
Memories keep coming into my mind...
Reminding me the time that i spend with my family and friends....
Seriously...
Walking through shops....
Seeing things....
Reminding me...
How i go shopping with them....
Feel like crying....
But no tears come out....

I still cannot cry....
First time,
I wish that i can cry..
I always believe that..
Crying actually make a person feels better....
After crying, I will be stronger...
To face the giant in front of me....

Yesterday, just watch battleship...
Learned new things...
So,
First thing is..
Don attack something u don know....
Attack it only activates it...
And destroy u...
When u know wat is it,
And understand abt it...
Then u can make a right decision.....
Doing something without a plan...
Is not a good thing...
Planning is important.....

Second one is...
Situation helps u grow....
When the highest position in the ship is the guy who is the male lead character....
Things force him to be mature...
To be responsible...
To work with his enemy...
To save his enemy...
To look things on another perspective....
To plan...
To learn from enemy....
It help him grow so much....

Have u ever think that every situation that u face is design purposely by god??
For the only reason that is to make u grow...
I grow a lot in here...
When my castle is taken away,
When the princess is forced to go out on its own,
Without any castle to protect her,
Is time for her to stand up...
And be a brave princess...
To face all circumstances...
To understand this world....
To solve problems without relying on others....
All this makes the princess grow.....
So, I grow a lot here....

Time to be more mature...
And study hard...
Wish me all the best....
I want to be a brave princess....

Princess Starry,
Smile...
Be strong and take courage.......
:)

Today drink too much vodka....
So feeling a bit dizzy...
Sleepy...
But waiting for my mum's call.....

This is not the first time I drink Vodka...
This is not the first time that i drink vine or beer.....
Actually i kinda like the taste of it....
Red vine is my favourite.....
The highest the percentage of alcohol,
the better...
I like the feeling where the alcohol burn my throat and move down to my stomach.....

I tell both my sis and godbrother....
They were like
' I want'
I am like, haha....
Wat do u expect me to do??
Haha....
I cannot deliver to JB....
haha...
:P

So i think i am going to find a time,
Drink Heineken...
With them...
Plus some of my bro ba.....
Cos they actually quite like...

So, how is today???
Surprise that I pass my test...
The test that i totally don know how to do de...
Luckily MCQ part save me...
I thank God for that.....

Sad cos i did not get any FYP title during the first selection...
Now passing up my second selection...
And wait for the lecturer to take me...
But through this,
There are friends really care of me...
Some are like: How u know..
Then i tell them...
My best friends were like : How r u?
U ok bo?
I feel touched...
Really..
They really care abt me....
Want to help me to overcome it...
 I really thank God for them....

Tired...
Cos yesterday chatting with my daughter...
Until 6am...
Is like whole night chatting...
I like to chat with her...
At least she know how to keep my secrets....
Not like my housemate...
Will really tell my secret out...
Haiz...
Just get used to it ba....

She is someone that very nice to chat with...
Really...
But today i really not happy as she revealed my secret away...
But, wat to say..
Just keep quiet...
Tats all....
haha....

Darling and my shining friends,
I miss u all so much....
My family,
Real Family and Church family,
I miss u all...
I miss my everything in JB....
Jb, I miss u so much....
Really...
But i know god throw me here for a reason....
To grow up more...

I know it..
But i cannot prevent myself from thinking to go back....
Especially when there is things happen...
Haha......

Going to work harder....
Smile starry...
No more crying....
But more smile....
Jia you, Princess Starry....
I am a Princess.......
A proud and brave Princess.......
:P

原来人悲伤到了极点是不会哭的。。。
不能哭， 原来这么痛苦。。。。
对于一个爱哭的我，
竟然不会哭，
好奇怪吧。。。。

真的。。。
我不会哭了。。。
可是却好想哭。。。。
谁有办法让我哭？
哭的痛痛快快的。。。

考试，
我不会做。。。
完全不会做。。。
平常的我，
早就哭了。。。
可是，
我竟然不会哭。。。
还对他没感觉。。。
想哭，
知道要哭，
却哭不出来。。。。

我很痛苦。。。
完全不知到底我的身体发生了什么事。。。。
竟然会变成这样。。。

姐妹们，
教我哭， 好吗？
让我哭的够，
才有办法复原。。。。

习惯了，
人前笑， 人后哭。。。
在人的面前， 我总是开心的。。。
我是真的很开心。。。
可是，
在人不知道的情况下，
就是这样。。。。

加油。。。
我是勇敢的公主。。。。。

Dear diary,
I have a great time today...
Yet sadness still find its way to reach me....
I am trying my best to get rid of the sadness...
But it seems impossible.....

Sound like a vampire diary one right...
When elena and stefan wrote diary,
They will be like,
Dear diary thing...
haha

So, let me talk abt today...
I have so much fun...
Badminton from 10.30am to 1pm...
Waterfall plus jungle tracking from 1pm to 5pm...
Captain ball from 5pm to 8pm...
Is really fun..
Plus my team got first in the captain ball thingy...

Yet sadness find its way here...
I miss home...
Seriously and badly...
Plus recently the topic around me...
Is all abt home...
Friends whose hometown so near...
They can go home...
Then even plan for next time going back...
I cannot...
Is just so far for me to go back....
And not enough time for me to go back...
I don want to waste money...

I can feel that my family miss me too...
Through phone call...
My mum also ask me see whether i can go back or not...
But i cannot....
Time does not allow me to go back...
I just don know that i have enough mental strength to support me for the coming month...
Where finals is coming...

During finals,
The feeling of missing home is greater...
As stress level increases and home is my place where i can relax and be who i am....
I know...
I will cry...
As this is the usual things happen.....

Home,
I miss u badly....
Really so bad....

Time to continue to study.....
Jia you, Starry...
You know you can....
Be a strong princess.....
And a more mature princess....
U cannot always protect urself in this virtual world...
Is time to face the cruel world...
Smile, Princess Starry...
Be a strong Princess....

I always think that i am a princess...
My character also similar to a princess character.....
But a girl with more compassion, caring, cheerful, mature, responsible, honest...
All those good character...
I want to develop it...
But i am not perfect...
Perfect is so stressful and is impossible....

I am a little Princess Starry......
Smile and be strong, Princess Starry.....

女人的眼泪，
就像钻石一样的珍贵。。。

有哭了。。。
我想回家。。。
想任性的吵回家。。。
可是，
我做不到。。。。

想。。。
真的真的很想。。。。
不顾一切。。。。
跑回家。。。
可是，
我做不到。。。。

我真的没办法想像。。。
如果我在外国。。。
一年只能回家一趟。。。
我会哭死吧。。

今天，
就让眼泪落下。。。
化成钻石。。。

坚强一点。。。
公主。。。
我要做坚强的公主。。。
 不被任何东西打到的公主。。。

加油。。。
Smile, Princess Starry.....
Be strong....