Skies are crying, I am watching

Catching tear drops in my hands

Only silence as it's ending

Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like

There's nothing left of me?

As the smoke clears, I awaken

And untangle you from me

Would it make you feel better

To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run

I'm gonna stay right here,

Watch you disappear

Yeah, oh

Go run, run, run

Yeah, it's a long way down

But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything away....

But i will be rising up form the ground and be a skyscraper that go up high...

Love this song....

Recently, 

Preparing finals...

Finals is so near...

And there is too much to study...

But still in the playing mode...

Plan to at least read through a subject in one day...

But this plan fail...

I took about two to three day to just read through it....

Still don know how to study...

Today badminton,

Just don like to play with those beginner...

I am sort of like a beginner...

But the beginner that i play with, 

Is someone who don know how to serve a ball...

I find it very speechless....

Seriously speechless...

haiz...........

Just don like....

Then, 

After badminton, 

Friends want to go back home...

Just don know where they go...

Don know is whose fault...

End up i really don know where friends go...

Some walk back le...

Cos got class later....

A lot of things happen...

And there is argument...

Friendly argument going around....

I don really like it...

Just don know is it because finals is coming...

People just start to lose control...

They become someone that i am not familiar with...

The person that i familiar with is gone...

Sometimes,

The new them, 

Really make me angry....

Is like not my fault, 

And you make it like my fault...

Doing things impatiently...

Easy to get angry...

Angry out of sudden....

I know you are stress...

But can you control it??

You really no need to tell everyone that you are stress...

And during this time, 

Me and my friends get closer with another friend...

She is someone who does not take the initiative to talk the others...

She is someone like very fierce like tat...

So ppl are kind of scare of her..

Me too...

But during this time, 

I just find that she is much more easier to talk and play with...

Is much more comfortable to talk to her...

I just don know wat to say...

Just continue to study...

And be a cheerful girl...

Smile, Starry.... 

最近，

爱上了pillow talk.... 

哈哈。。。

跟好朋友， 可以信任的朋友，

谈些私人的东西。。。

就发现原来我这么迟钝。。。

原来，

朋友一看就看得出。。。

而我这当事人，

却什么都不懂。。。

可是，

就放着这样。。。

不想去管。。。

因为，

我不要再当一个傻瓜。。。

昨天，

和朋友唱翻天。。。

很久没有这样来唱歌。。。。

也发觉，

原来大家都好压力。。。。

因为，

我们是昨天第一组人抵达。。。

然后，

遇到朋友一起来。。。

全部是同科系。。。

接近二十个人。。。。

所以，

超好玩的。。。。

该是时候准备考试了。。。

加油，

我可以的。。。 

:)

听着煎熬。。。

好羡慕那把声音。。。

好想拥有那具有爆发力的声音。。。

好想唱歌。。。

尽情地唱。。。

不在意别人怎么看。。。

不管别人怎么想。。。

不管。。。

可是，

我做不到。。。

我能做的只是，

把歌声练好。。。

每天越来越进步。。。

这就好了。。。

朋友总说，

我的声音就像DNA一样。。。

独一无二。。。

找不到第二个。。。

我总是笑着。。。

不明白。。。

为什么？？

有一天，

听到了自己的录音。。。

我把自己的歌声录下来。。。

听着，

才发觉，

好高哦。。。

就算我把声音压得很沉。。。

我听我自己唱歌，

那可以算是很沉的声音。。。

可是，

录音的声音，

是高的。。。

真的是高的。。。。

我自己感到很惊讶。。。

我妹妹才告诉我。。。

我声音是尖的。。。

很尖的声音。。。

哈哈。。。。
这样才可以欺负人。。。

该专心的读书了。。。
准备考试。。。
加油。。。
我知道我可以。。。
笑。。。
:)

别说对不起别让我伤了心
才说不是故意我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变成廉价物品
我却只能爱你

闭上眼睛却看见你
想你的好代替无力
我相信你却开始不信任自己

别说对不起别让我灰了心
才说不是故意我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变的小心翼翼
我却只能爱你

在听着这首歌。。。
不止怎么，突然想写下来。。。
好笑吧。。。
或许是应为我朋友。。。

对于你们，
我感觉很自在。。。
跟你们在一起，
我能尽情地做小妹妹。。。
不需要在意很多事情。。。
只需做妹妹。。。
你们总是最疼我的。。。
陪着我。。。
对你们，
我这能说，
谢谢。。。
好爱你们。。。

不知道要怎么说。。。
对于你，
我有好感。。。
到目前还是这样，
好朋友却叫我定下来。。。
我却不知要怎样回答。。。。

真的别说对不起。。。
因为我不知该怎么回答。。。
别让我无法怪你。。。

很random的一篇。。。
就这样吧。。。
哈哈。。。

考试要来。。。
心情很不好。。。
总觉得没尽力。。。
却没心情读书。。。
不能再玩了。。。
要认真了。。。
:)

Losing control again...

How to say.....

When you are tired and carry a lot of things, 

You just want to faster reach back so that you can put all things...

And someone is there to block you...

He don want to open the door and block it so you cannot open...

How would you feel??

I feel super angry....

Yesterday, 

I go to pasak malam...

Buy things with my cousin...

Helping my friend buy things also...

Then my cousin got somethings to do,

She go first...

Left me...

Taking all things back..

Is quite a lot...

And quite heavy...

On the way, 

I start to feel pain for both of my hand....

When i reach home, 

My room is up stair...

I need to open the door...

I saw my housemate...

So i ask him to help me take things...

My hand ady very painful....

Then my another housemate quickly push him away...

And then went back and block the door....

I saw my housemate and ask him to open the door for me...

But he say cannot...

Cos the other one blocking....

I then lose control...

Sometime, 

I really hate it...

Can he don be so immature??

In some point, 

He is really immature...

I know he is playing with me...

But can he look at the situation??

Later 8pm i got something to do...

And when i reach back, 

is ady 7.20pm....

I still haven take my bath cos when i walk back that time, 

I sweat a lot...

I still haven eat my dinner....

I lose control over my emotion....

I don want to get angry....

I don want....

But i cannot control it...

And there is no time for me to calm down...

To me, 

I know you love to play...

But can you look at situation??

Can you be a bit considerate??

Can you be mature a bit???

Can you think for other people??

I just could not believe it...

Is being 12 weeks ady...

Time pass...

So every week, 

We play a game name angel and mortal game...

Angel suppose to take care for mortal....

Every time, my mortal is someone that i don want to take care one...

Except one la...

Who is my best friends....

Those that are very close with me one, 

I won get the chance to take care of them...

I always take care those that i don like or I don know how to take care de....

Most of the time, 

Is my best friends taking care of me.....

As wednesday is the day we pick our mortal,

Is all inside a box,

with name inside paper,

And you just cannot see it...

You are choosing it randomly...

And this week,

I suppose to take care the person that make me angry...

When i look at it, 

I really don know how to respond...

Wat kind of response should i give???

My first reaction was like walao ei...

Haha...

I really don know wat to say...

But i believe it is from god...

God challenge me to love my enemy...

Although is super hard...

Forgiveness is never an easy thing for me...

Really not easy....

Hahaha....

Learning is a progress...

Time to grow up, Princess...

I am princess Starry...

I want to become a pretty Princess...

A princess that proud of herself...

Smile,

Forever Happy.... 

Report o Report...
I have hated report everytime when i am doing it...
Haha...
Lazy to do it..
Plus this time report super hard..
No need to sleep le...
Hahaha................

Losing control again...
Just don know wats wrong with me...
This two day,
I am super down...
Just not like me...
I don feel like myself...

Today,
When i see a picture,
I really surprised...
But then i feel really weird...
How to say...
A girl who pass her grade 8 piano...
Someone who play piano better than me...
But is not chosen for the place that i am...
Someone has more qualification...
Someone who is better...
Someone who is more hardworking...
But not chosen for the place i am....
Is me...
Who is so much weaker...
Who is so much lazier...
Who plays so bad....
Is chosen for that...
I just feel...
I am not worthy for the place that i am holding...
Really...

Today,
A cartoon that makes me cry when i am small...
Just realize that i have that king of feeling since young...
How to describe...
I hate saying goodbye when knowing that i won be able to see that person again...
I hate to face death of someone or some animals....
Death, I hate you...
Really hate...
Is been with me since young...
When i am 2 years old ba...

TIme to continue to do report....
Jia you starry...
I am strong princess....

Yesterday, Totally in bad mood...
Sometimes,
I lose control...
Lose control over everything...
Forgotten something that i should be doing...
Sometimes,
I just realize,
I have no existance...
No one seems to notice me...
You cannot force me to do things that i don like...
A lot of time,
I choose to be quiet...
Hiding in my room...
Doing things...
Now there is someone sharing the room with me,
A lot of things seems like cannot do le...

I have lose control...
Nothing to say...
Don feel like doing anything...
Feel like crying..
But just cannot cry...
Too stress ady??
Don ask me...
I don know the answer...

Feel like giving up on everything...
Just like that...
Let everything settle to the bottom...

Starry is emo again...
Hahaha.....

I did a test,
Found out that i am a very emotional person...
I think it suits me....

Usually the person that is hurting you not the one you hate,
But the one you love...
Usually, you always take things for granted from the person you love...
Is a dilemma...
Is because you take things for granted..
You think that he or she should be doing it,
But you forget the point that,
It is not...
It should not be like that....
And usually, this things hurt you the most...
Am i right??
I don know.....

Later got test...
Study until vomit le...
First time,
Start studying so early...
I start it on last week...
And is only 2 chapter...
First time,
Study a few times and keep memorizing...
Am i too stress??
I would say yes ba...

Previous Exam,
Did not get good result...
So a bit too stress...
Stress until a bit scary jor....
I am going crazy...
Just too much things to handle...
When things does not go ur way,
You just feel angry..
I don know about you...
But this is me...

Life is meant to be imperfect,
So that i can learn..
And right now,
My life is super imperfect...
There is situation given to me to learn...
It is helping me to grow up...
I can only encourage myself like this...
And hoping that i will pass through...
There is nothing much that i can do..
There is nothing more for me...
Just wait....

And because he lives,
I can face tomorrow,
Because he lives,
All fear is gone,
And because i know,
He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because he lives....

Smiling is all that i can give...
Although i may have give up on my own life,
Someone still never give up on me...
So just smile...
I know one day i will recover...
Just hope that it will come very soon...
Smile, Princess Starry.....

Is been a long journey....
When i look back,
i just realize that i grow up a lot...
A lot of things make me grow...

Today,
Things happen unexpectedly...
Plan to go to uni with someone..
And when u wake up,
The someone tell u that,
She need to go to uni early...
Cos she forgot jor...
Time is running out...
I haven change my clothes...
So i say wait for me...
And she just took all her things and go to uni...
Leaving me there....
If you are in my situation,
What will you feel?
Will you be angry?
Whose fault is this???

I don know about you...
But my first reaction is angry...
I am angry...
How can she abandon me??
This is the first feeling that i have...
As i pray,
I can still feel the anger...
But learning to forgive...

First time find it angry is much easier than forgive...
Angry is easier...
Is easier to find people's fault than find own's fault...
Is easier to be angry at what people do than see that i am causing it....

Forgiveness,
I sound easier but is so hard...
Is really so hard....
I heard god asking me...
Are you really forgiving people from the bottom of your heart??
Is strike my heart...
A lot of times i am hiding the hurt down inside...
A lot of times, it just so hard to forgive....

If you ask me now,
Do i still angry??
I would say yes...
But i am learning to forgive....
Forgive those who hurt me..
Forgive those who make me angry...
Forgive myself for making all those stupid mistakes...

Learning is an ongoing process that never ends...
I am learning everyday...
Be a strong priincess...
Smile, Princess Starry...

女孩　越過小路爬上了山丘
那時的她還不懂為什麼　螢火蟲都不動
停駐在夜空　點亮了小小宇宙

女孩　慢慢長大卻還是懵懂
那時的她　還不懂為什麼大人們能抽空
為失戀喝杯酒卻沒空看看星空

不要　不要　忘了做過的夢
天上星星　彷彿聽她述說　興奮地閃爍

我要變成那一顆星星　整夜都亮晶晶
不怕陰暗的黑影　驕傲地閃不停
SHINING (SHINING) (SHINING)亮麗到月兒都妒忌
燦爛的一顆星星　一生也亮晶晶
因為夜歸的背影　有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇氣就在你手心

女孩　不再單純卻不夠成熟
這時的她　雖然懂為什麼美麗總有哀愁
每當有淚兒流　卻回到那個宇宙

女孩　有天將會到哪裡出走
哪時的她　總會問為什麼一個夢那麼重
只希望放棄前能想起那片星空

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star.

A long time ago, a little girl wanted to find her future.
She went to the mountains,　and asked the sky:
'Where's my future?' and just then a little star said:
'Sweetie, the future is in your hands!
Yes, the future is in our hands!

Yes i want to become a star...
That shine up high.....
No matter how dark the night can be....
As the night becomes darker,
A star shine so bright,
That even the moons envy at it....

I love stars....
It is so beautiful...
More beautiful than the moon....
Although the moon is brighter than stars,
Although the moon is more obvious,
Although the brightness of moon cause us cannot see the stars,
But stars still there...
Shining...
No matter wat happen..
It still shines...
Shining....

Starry,
Name given by myself...
Although weird...
I like it.....

Recently,
I am learning,
How to love myself...
Just be myself...
No need to become anyone...
No need to care what people thinks...
To me, 
How to love myself is hard...
The hardest is to don care how people thinks about me...
This is the hardest...
People single unintentionally reaction,
I may think much and start hurting myself...
To some extent,
I am weaker than wat people think....
So,
trying my best..
To love myself...
Just love myself...
Just be proud of myself...
Just be who i really am...
Just be the girl that god wants me to be...
:)

I am Princess Starry...
Happy Princess....
Cheerful Priinces.....
Strong Princess....
Kind princess.....
There are still too much for me to learn right now...
As long as i don give up,
I will reach my goal....

Starry,
A star that shines up high...
Shines brightly no matter what have happen......
:)

July 1

今天。。。

谢谢朋友。。。

陪我祷告。。。

让我能够得到自由。。。

没想到。。。

自己的问题在于拒绝。。。

我很在意。。。

害怕被人拒绝。。。

所以，

才会受伤。。。

让最爱我的神哭了。。。。

哭了过后，

我会更坚强。。。

我会更开朗。。。。

我会更加不一样。。。。

笑着过我的人生。。。。

人生就会不一样。。。。

要回家了。。。

超开心的。。。。

回去最好玩的。。。

就是和弟弟们聊天。。。

和弟弟们玩杀。。。。

超好玩的。。。

无法忘记和他们的一切。。。。

今天和他们聊了好久。。。。

我超想念他们的。。。。

和他们在一起。。。

我真的不必理会自己到底比他们大多少。。。

只许一起玩就好了。。。。

超开心的。。。。

今天，

虽然有笑也有哭，

不过，

总来说。。。。

是高兴的。。。

加油。。。。

作一个坚强的公主。。。

作一个开心的公主。。。

作一个靠神，爱神的公主。。。

我永远都是快乐的公主。。。。

J

Starry is happy here…

Happy that she is changing her life into a better person….

Happy that she really found her real purpose….

Happy for who she are…

Happy that she got a god who love her so much….

Happy that she know what she should do…

Happy for everything that she have…..

Happy for being a princess….

Happy….

Learning how to smile…

Learning how to be a person that she want to be….

No need to be perfect......

No need to be someone that people want her to be….

No need to carry so much burden….

As an elderest child,

Tends to carry too much thing on her shoulder…

But god teach me how to let go….

也许曾渴望拥有，

但你要我慢慢学习放手。。。

在每一分钟。。。。

现在我已经不同。。。

声明属你不属于我。。。。

甘愿成为你手中美好的工作。。。。

J

最近，

会emo一点。。。。

可是，

学习坚强。。。

就好了。。。

This post is written on 1 July...

Wondering why so late only post it??

When this is written, my hostel got no internet line...

When internet line come back, 

Too many things plus lazy...

So until now only update...

Is been a while since i wrote my blog...

Lazy plus no line ba...

Still got a lot of things to share...

Next time ba...

Good night world....