sad...
Bicycle kena stolen by some stupid brainless people....
Hate it when they don know how to think and just steal the others thing....
They just don know how people feel....
When your things go missing,
You will feel sad and angry....

Today i just saw my bicycle at 8pm...
And it is lost at 11pm...
So fast...
I fell so sad...
It has been with me for 2 year plus...
I always cycle it to school...
It is the best transportation in here....

As i move into another place which is further but cheaper...
I did not use my bicycle...
Cos too far to cycle to uni...
And is the same as walking to uni...
I would use the time to pray and talk to god...
So i decided to walk to uni...
Is been a habit to look at my bicycle...
Thinking to repair it...
Now no need to repair le..
It is gone..
Forever...

I felt so sad...
Is been there for me when i need it the most...
I wish to curse the thief....
But thinking...
Better not...
Really fell like scolding them in all bad words...
But i cannot think of any bad words right now...
Fell like chopping off their hands....
So that they won steal anymore...

I thanks god for my sis and my mom...
For their comfort....
They very scare when i cry..
But i always cry when things happen....

Just let me cry in this so called doom day..
Which will never happen...
And let me grow stronger......

Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me....

December first post,
Is about my birthday...
Happy Birthday...
Always get so excited before this day...
And always wanted this day to reach as early as possible...
Happy....
:)

Still got a lot of things to write..
But want to sleep le...
Goodnight... :)

Long time never blog le....
Last post also say the same thing...
haha...

Is been a long journey...
And the journey is ending....
I am going to graduate le...
Is like so fast...
Going to take graduation photo...
And say goodbye to kampar....

But first,
Need to settle my FYP...
Hate it so much...
If you ever heard that anything bad happen to me,
Remember the culprit will be FYP...
Haha...
Is it hard??
Yes, it is hard and challenging....
Everyday i am hoping to get a good result...
Yet SDS page everyday bully me...
It don let me get good results...
There is result but yet not good...
This is the problem...
Have to find out wat happen....

Just come back from hometown...
So feel very happy...
You just could not imagine how happy i am....
Seems like home is the best medicine...
When i reach back,
My illness cured ady...
No more vomiting...
You maybe wondering wat happen...

Cos before i went back home,
Almost every morning,
I will vomit before eat or drink anything...
I vomit out the gastric juice in my stomach before eat and drink...
It usually happen when i am brushing my teeth...
And it continue for few days...
Thanks god that when i reach back home, no more ady...
But at hometown, i feel dizzy when i wake up...
Maybe not enough blood ba...
Just don scare myself then can le...

Just hope that i can quickly settle everything and graduate...
Haha...
But i think i will miss the life here...
Cos here got so much freedom...
I miss the freedom in Jb where i got transport to go anywhere...
I will  miss the freedom here where i can do watever i want...
Not that i cannot do it in JB...
Can but my dad won feel happy and i will kena scolded...

Continue to work hard...
Test is coming on Monday...
Jia you..
I know i can...
:)

好久没写部落格了。。。
每天都好忙哦。。。
有的时间，
都用来解压了。。。
可是压力却源源不断的来。。。
我压力到了一个可怕的程度。。。
我每听到我的妈妈的声音。。。
我就会哭。。。
每当在冲凉，
总会鼓励自己。。。
可是，
过后有哭了。。。
虽然，
告诉自己现在荷尔蒙在失调着。。。
却发觉自己太情绪化了。。。
情绪像过山车一样。。。
上上下下。。。
分不清何时会上何时会下。。。
好恐怖。。。
自己真的太压力了。。。
抗压程度不够。。。

想快快完成。。。
然后毕业。。。
想。。。
压力。。。
是会让人成长的动力。。。
也会让人发疯。。。
希望在这三个月可以学习到如何抗压。。。
不管压力几大，
都可以应付。。。
加油， 思恩。。。
我知道我可以。。。
:)

槟城，
好好玩。。。
好多好吃的。。。
改次再找机会去。。。
如果可以找个槟城的男朋友就好。。。
哈哈。。

告诉自己， 我做得到。。。
告诉自己， 我可以应付的。。。
告诉自己， 我会完成的。。。
告诉自己， 我就快要毕业了。。。
努力读书， 考好成绩。。。
:)

Long time never write post ady....
Cos of FYP....
Thinking of everyday write something about it...
But time is needed to adjust my habit according to it...
Everyday wake up at 7 something just to go to uni..
Is quite hard for me...
During exam period,
I usually sleep at this time...
Night is the best time for me to work...

I cannot stay overnight le..
Everyday need like 8 hours sleep...
If i stay overnight today,
Tomorrow i will sleep for 12 hours..
A bit not like me le...

My habit is keep on changing...
Just to fit into FYP life...
Yet, FYP is so much harder than wat i think....
Working within the time frame is just so hard...
Not to mention that you need to fight for machine and stuff....
Plus no OT...
Until now, i finally understand why others hate FYP so much.....

When face problem, have to troubleshoot ourselves...
A lot of studies are needed for it....
English level have to improve...
Need to know a lot of things.....
It just so hard...

Maybe is not that hard,
But is i myself lazy...
Every time when reach back home,
Feel like sleeping the whole day...
It is harder than intern...
Intern just go to work then come back and sleep...
FYP is go to work and come back and study....
Haiz...

Life gets harder,
Is time for me to grow stronger...
In FYP,
I know i will be learning a lot of things...
And get rid of my bad habit...
And telling myself...
When people scold u,
Is actually for ur own good...
Cos if the person does not care about u,
He or she won scold...

Planing and working hard is what i have been lacking in my life...
Hope that through FYP i will learn it..
Although is in a hard way,
But is for my own good...

Thank god for my supervisor and her master student...
Thanks for all their teaching and scolding...
Is making me stronger...
Is making me more and more mature....

Time to sleep le..
Goodnight...

Life is just so fragile....
People can appear to be healthy in front of you yet you lose him or her in just a split of second....
Losing another friend again...
In this month, this is the second time that i lose a friend...
Is sad...
But knowing that they are going to a better place, Isn't it good for them???
Yet i am sad cos i am not able to see them again...
Both of them are someone that has help me before...
They offer their help to me...
And serving people with a smile...
From them, I learn...
When i heard about the bad news,
I am sad...
Feel like crying...
Yet there is no tears coming out...
Just don know why....

Goodbye my friends....
We may be asking a lot of why....
But i want to learn to accept it without knowing the reason...
Believing in god who prepare a better place for them...
They are still too young to be back to heaven...
But yet this might be better for them as they have no more sorrows and pain with them....

Goodbye is the only thing i can say..
Although there is nothing left for me to do...
I always remember you in my heart...
Appreciate what you have done in my life...
And this help me grow...
I know i am going to see you again in heaven...
In a place beautifully made....
There will no more sadness and pain and suffering...
And there will be joy....
Goodbye...

No matter how much i hate to say goodbye,
It will always happen...
As this is life...
There will never be a person in life that he or she has never say goodbye...
One day, we will all say goodbye...
Goodbye to the world and goodbye to our dearest family and friends...
Until that day,
Just continue to live our life and appreciate the fact that you are still alive....
:)

Sorry that i love you...
Sorry that i need you....
Sorry that i fall in love with you...

Today,
Saying goodbye with a friend...
To me, he is like a brother...
That would really know me...
So is sad to say goodbye...
Cos knowing the facts that it would be hard for me to meet him again...
But still,
This is life...

I am sorry for making that request onto you...
Just hope you have a better life...
Wish to meet you again...
Goodbye, my friend.....

超想唱歌。。。

想尽情的唱歌。。。

不管人家。。。

可是不能啊。。

想躲在一个房间。。。

然后唱。。。

等改次自己有一件房子的时候。。。

每个人都有想过。。。

自己的房子。。。

未来的房子会是怎样。。。

真想有个音乐室。。。

能让我尽情的唱歌，听音乐。。。。

哈哈。。。

说再见，

是最难的事。。。

因为，

你知道你不会再见到他了。。。。

有些伤感，

但是，这是人生必经的路程。。。。

学着， 过了， 就会成长。。。。

期待成长， 

变成漂亮又有气质的公主。。。。

有气质因该有一点难。。。

哈哈。。。 

Losing control for a small matters.... 

To people, it may be a small matter...

But to me, 

I may be seeing it as big matter...

Cos it is something from my mum...

A mum who love me so much.....

So the story starts,

I am watching movie...

And my friend did not tell me that he is playing my phone....

So in the middle of the movie, 

I realize that my phone is with my friend...

I am like, 'o...'

Then, 

Another friend play with it...

Then i go there and saw the battery level, and find it is in yellow colour...

This means that it is below 50%...

I am still ok...

It make me lose control is when the battery level is less than 15%....

I heard a sound indicating that it is below 15% and must be charged le...

Then, i saw my friend still playing with it....

I lose control....

Why?

First, Is a present from my mum...

Although is i ask for it...

I never expect that my mum would pay for it...

I am ready to pay for it... 

Yet my mum did not say a thing and buy it for me.....

Second, it need a very long time to charge....

Need like 4 hours....

And when i saw the battery graph, 

I feel angry...

Cos it is a straight line graph that goes down....

I myself haven use it and yet you all play until like no battery...

Third, 

You did not inform me and yet it ady tell you no more battery and yet u still playing without asking me...

I am angry...

And i lose control..

I cannot do anything but just angry, cry and scream...

Inside my room...

And i call my sis and someone that understand me...

My sis and my godbrother,

They are people that understand me the most...

I can tell them everything...

And they understand...

In my position, How would i feel...

And give me the advice that i needed the most.....

I am glad to have them in my life...... 

Story ended without any quarrel...

As i clam down, 

There is just back to normal...

You may be wondering why there is no quarrel....

Cos Quarrel is something that would hurt the relationship...

I find it that way...

Three things that would break a relationship, 

Which are quarrel, lose temper and scolding people...

Right until now, 

I realize this three....

Without quarrel, 

We may not understand what others people thing...

But yet if there is quarrel, 

It will affect the relationship..

You spend so much time to build a relationship and yet you break it just so easily...

If you really appreciate this relationship, 

You won break it so easily...

I learn it but in a hard way....

Cos i am a flower full of thorns...

Easily hurting other people....

Wondering what my character would be like..

And today i get an answer that i would never expect it be...

I find it true in some ways.....

I am just so timid to believe in wat i know....

I am just to scare to believe in the decision i made...

I just don want to believe...

So, I know wat i want but yet this is the time where i am lost...

Just not sure whether this is it....

I just never expect that my friend would give me this answer...

But i believe in one things...

As i continue to grow up, 

God is molding my character...

Waiting for it to be better.....

Smile princess..

And be a strong princess.... 

:)

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景   做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞   一个人擦泪
一个人好累


期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞   一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨   怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑   才能够有你的体贴

其实   没有我你分不清那些
彻别   接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

因为夜晚的一场雨，
让我不禁想到这首歌。。。
听起来悲伤，
可是，
习惯了一个人。。。
走过这一切。。。。

思念，
总是在这样的时候悄悄走进来。。。
坐在窗边，
看着雨在下，
是一种说不出的幸福。。。

神秘的人，
总有好多说不出的秘密。。。
就让这些秘密，
落到心底，
不让他浮出表面。。。
因为他总伴随着悲伤。。。

让雨继续下，
让着感伤的情绪继续着，
就只为期待雨后的天晴。。。。

一个人的夜晚，
宁静又自由。。。
想做什么就做什么。。。
我喜欢这样的感觉。。。
对于夜猫的我，
喜欢在晚上读书，
喜欢在晚上活动，
他就像毒药一样。。。
让人上瘾。。。。

人生总有悲欢离合， 总有生离死别。。。
虽然讨厌， 却无法避免。。。
人生就是这样的无奈。。。。

最近考试，
总是做不好，
有没有心读书，
越来越懒，
却不知道要怎么改。。。
不是没尽力。。。
只是总觉得没做好本分。。。
太爱玩了，
有点没做到答应父母的事情。。。
要好好念书。。。

现在，
想用功读书。。。
剩下两科。。。
有至少五天的时间给我预备。。。
不能用没时间来当借口了。。。。
哈哈。。。。。

人生充满无奈，
可是，
我要笑着过我的人生。。。
与其哭着过，
我能够选着笑着过，
因为时间不会为我停留，
人生不会因为我的悲伤而停顿，
我的人生还有很长的一段路。。。
我还有很多事情还没完成。。。
人生还有很多意义等着我去领悟，
等着我去了解，
也等着我去试探。。。。

我会变的更坚强，
作一个更坚强的公主。。。
我是公主。。。
:)

榮美的救主  我仰望你面
你聖潔真光充滿 我生命
我找到自己  在你救恩計劃裡
我願用我全心 用我全力 來榮耀你

你是我一生的倚靠
你給我溫暖的擁抱
我只想永遠 愛著你 緊緊跟隨你
我一生因你而微笑
當你的靈將我環繞
我獻上自己 做活祭 一生服事你我的主

沒有任何事物 能改變我決定
或改變我的心
當你用愛觸摸 我空虛的生命
我已決定X5
我已決定永不離開你

今天，
听到了朋友逝世的消息，
有点震惊。。。。
她才26岁。。。
26。。。
还有很多事可以去做。。。
还有很多事未完成。。。。
还没结婚。。。。
刚刚要孝敬父母， 让父母可以放心，
就这样的回天家了。。。。
让人感觉不舍。。。
舍不得。。。

伤心，
是一定的。。。
可是，
我感谢我朋友会逗我笑。。。
让我开心。。。
让我能够走过这悲伤。。。。
谢谢你。。。
爱死你了。。。
哈哈。。。

这悲伤，
不只来自失去朋友，
还有考试。。。
我不会做。。。
才答应父母要好好念书，
却成绩靠不好，
有点说不过去。。。
haiz......

人生充满了无奈，
人生就如一场戏。。。
总有人聚在一起的时候，
也有说再见的时候。。。。

Skies are crying, I am watching

Catching tear drops in my hands

Only silence as it's ending

Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like

There's nothing left of me?

As the smoke clears, I awaken

And untangle you from me

Would it make you feel better

To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run

I'm gonna stay right here,

Watch you disappear

Yeah, oh

Go run, run, run

Yeah, it's a long way down

But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything away....

But i will be rising up form the ground and be a skyscraper that go up high...

Love this song....

Recently, 

Preparing finals...

Finals is so near...

And there is too much to study...

But still in the playing mode...

Plan to at least read through a subject in one day...

But this plan fail...

I took about two to three day to just read through it....

Still don know how to study...

Today badminton,

Just don like to play with those beginner...

I am sort of like a beginner...

But the beginner that i play with, 

Is someone who don know how to serve a ball...

I find it very speechless....

Seriously speechless...

haiz...........

Just don like....

Then, 

After badminton, 

Friends want to go back home...

Just don know where they go...

Don know is whose fault...

End up i really don know where friends go...

Some walk back le...

Cos got class later....

A lot of things happen...

And there is argument...

Friendly argument going around....

I don really like it...

Just don know is it because finals is coming...

People just start to lose control...

They become someone that i am not familiar with...

The person that i familiar with is gone...

Sometimes,

The new them, 

Really make me angry....

Is like not my fault, 

And you make it like my fault...

Doing things impatiently...

Easy to get angry...

Angry out of sudden....

I know you are stress...

But can you control it??

You really no need to tell everyone that you are stress...

And during this time, 

Me and my friends get closer with another friend...

She is someone who does not take the initiative to talk the others...

She is someone like very fierce like tat...

So ppl are kind of scare of her..

Me too...

But during this time, 

I just find that she is much more easier to talk and play with...

Is much more comfortable to talk to her...

I just don know wat to say...

Just continue to study...

And be a cheerful girl...

Smile, Starry.... 

最近，

爱上了pillow talk.... 

哈哈。。。

跟好朋友， 可以信任的朋友，

谈些私人的东西。。。

就发现原来我这么迟钝。。。

原来，

朋友一看就看得出。。。

而我这当事人，

却什么都不懂。。。

可是，

就放着这样。。。

不想去管。。。

因为，

我不要再当一个傻瓜。。。

昨天，

和朋友唱翻天。。。

很久没有这样来唱歌。。。。

也发觉，

原来大家都好压力。。。。

因为，

我们是昨天第一组人抵达。。。

然后，

遇到朋友一起来。。。

全部是同科系。。。

接近二十个人。。。。

所以，

超好玩的。。。。

该是时候准备考试了。。。

加油，

我可以的。。。 

:)

听着煎熬。。。

好羡慕那把声音。。。

好想拥有那具有爆发力的声音。。。

好想唱歌。。。

尽情地唱。。。

不在意别人怎么看。。。

不管别人怎么想。。。

不管。。。

可是，

我做不到。。。

我能做的只是，

把歌声练好。。。

每天越来越进步。。。

这就好了。。。

朋友总说，

我的声音就像DNA一样。。。

独一无二。。。

找不到第二个。。。

我总是笑着。。。

不明白。。。

为什么？？

有一天，

听到了自己的录音。。。

我把自己的歌声录下来。。。

听着，

才发觉，

好高哦。。。

就算我把声音压得很沉。。。

我听我自己唱歌，

那可以算是很沉的声音。。。

可是，

录音的声音，

是高的。。。

真的是高的。。。。

我自己感到很惊讶。。。

我妹妹才告诉我。。。

我声音是尖的。。。

很尖的声音。。。

哈哈。。。。
这样才可以欺负人。。。

该专心的读书了。。。
准备考试。。。
加油。。。
我知道我可以。。。
笑。。。
:)

别说对不起别让我伤了心
才说不是故意我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变成廉价物品
我却只能爱你

闭上眼睛却看见你
想你的好代替无力
我相信你却开始不信任自己

别说对不起别让我灰了心
才说不是故意我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变的小心翼翼
我却只能爱你

在听着这首歌。。。
不止怎么，突然想写下来。。。
好笑吧。。。
或许是应为我朋友。。。

对于你们，
我感觉很自在。。。
跟你们在一起，
我能尽情地做小妹妹。。。
不需要在意很多事情。。。
只需做妹妹。。。
你们总是最疼我的。。。
陪着我。。。
对你们，
我这能说，
谢谢。。。
好爱你们。。。

不知道要怎么说。。。
对于你，
我有好感。。。
到目前还是这样，
好朋友却叫我定下来。。。
我却不知要怎样回答。。。。

真的别说对不起。。。
因为我不知该怎么回答。。。
别让我无法怪你。。。

很random的一篇。。。
就这样吧。。。
哈哈。。。

考试要来。。。
心情很不好。。。
总觉得没尽力。。。
却没心情读书。。。
不能再玩了。。。
要认真了。。。
:)

Losing control again...

How to say.....

When you are tired and carry a lot of things, 

You just want to faster reach back so that you can put all things...

And someone is there to block you...

He don want to open the door and block it so you cannot open...

How would you feel??

I feel super angry....

Yesterday, 

I go to pasak malam...

Buy things with my cousin...

Helping my friend buy things also...

Then my cousin got somethings to do,

She go first...

Left me...

Taking all things back..

Is quite a lot...

And quite heavy...

On the way, 

I start to feel pain for both of my hand....

When i reach home, 

My room is up stair...

I need to open the door...

I saw my housemate...

So i ask him to help me take things...

My hand ady very painful....

Then my another housemate quickly push him away...

And then went back and block the door....

I saw my housemate and ask him to open the door for me...

But he say cannot...

Cos the other one blocking....

I then lose control...

Sometime, 

I really hate it...

Can he don be so immature??

In some point, 

He is really immature...

I know he is playing with me...

But can he look at the situation??

Later 8pm i got something to do...

And when i reach back, 

is ady 7.20pm....

I still haven take my bath cos when i walk back that time, 

I sweat a lot...

I still haven eat my dinner....

I lose control over my emotion....

I don want to get angry....

I don want....

But i cannot control it...

And there is no time for me to calm down...

To me, 

I know you love to play...

But can you look at situation??

Can you be a bit considerate??

Can you be mature a bit???

Can you think for other people??

I just could not believe it...

Is being 12 weeks ady...

Time pass...

So every week, 

We play a game name angel and mortal game...

Angel suppose to take care for mortal....

Every time, my mortal is someone that i don want to take care one...

Except one la...

Who is my best friends....

Those that are very close with me one, 

I won get the chance to take care of them...

I always take care those that i don like or I don know how to take care de....

Most of the time, 

Is my best friends taking care of me.....

As wednesday is the day we pick our mortal,

Is all inside a box,

with name inside paper,

And you just cannot see it...

You are choosing it randomly...

And this week,

I suppose to take care the person that make me angry...

When i look at it, 

I really don know how to respond...

Wat kind of response should i give???

My first reaction was like walao ei...

Haha...

I really don know wat to say...

But i believe it is from god...

God challenge me to love my enemy...

Although is super hard...

Forgiveness is never an easy thing for me...

Really not easy....

Hahaha....

Learning is a progress...

Time to grow up, Princess...

I am princess Starry...

I want to become a pretty Princess...

A princess that proud of herself...

Smile,

Forever Happy.... 

Report o Report...
I have hated report everytime when i am doing it...
Haha...
Lazy to do it..
Plus this time report super hard..
No need to sleep le...
Hahaha................

Losing control again...
Just don know wats wrong with me...
This two day,
I am super down...
Just not like me...
I don feel like myself...

Today,
When i see a picture,
I really surprised...
But then i feel really weird...
How to say...
A girl who pass her grade 8 piano...
Someone who play piano better than me...
But is not chosen for the place that i am...
Someone has more qualification...
Someone who is better...
Someone who is more hardworking...
But not chosen for the place i am....
Is me...
Who is so much weaker...
Who is so much lazier...
Who plays so bad....
Is chosen for that...
I just feel...
I am not worthy for the place that i am holding...
Really...

Today,
A cartoon that makes me cry when i am small...
Just realize that i have that king of feeling since young...
How to describe...
I hate saying goodbye when knowing that i won be able to see that person again...
I hate to face death of someone or some animals....
Death, I hate you...
Really hate...
Is been with me since young...
When i am 2 years old ba...

TIme to continue to do report....
Jia you starry...
I am strong princess....

Yesterday, Totally in bad mood...
Sometimes,
I lose control...
Lose control over everything...
Forgotten something that i should be doing...
Sometimes,
I just realize,
I have no existance...
No one seems to notice me...
You cannot force me to do things that i don like...
A lot of time,
I choose to be quiet...
Hiding in my room...
Doing things...
Now there is someone sharing the room with me,
A lot of things seems like cannot do le...

I have lose control...
Nothing to say...
Don feel like doing anything...
Feel like crying..
But just cannot cry...
Too stress ady??
Don ask me...
I don know the answer...

Feel like giving up on everything...
Just like that...
Let everything settle to the bottom...

Starry is emo again...
Hahaha.....

I did a test,
Found out that i am a very emotional person...
I think it suits me....

Usually the person that is hurting you not the one you hate,
But the one you love...
Usually, you always take things for granted from the person you love...
Is a dilemma...
Is because you take things for granted..
You think that he or she should be doing it,
But you forget the point that,
It is not...
It should not be like that....
And usually, this things hurt you the most...
Am i right??
I don know.....

Later got test...
Study until vomit le...
First time,
Start studying so early...
I start it on last week...
And is only 2 chapter...
First time,
Study a few times and keep memorizing...
Am i too stress??
I would say yes ba...

Previous Exam,
Did not get good result...
So a bit too stress...
Stress until a bit scary jor....
I am going crazy...
Just too much things to handle...
When things does not go ur way,
You just feel angry..
I don know about you...
But this is me...

Life is meant to be imperfect,
So that i can learn..
And right now,
My life is super imperfect...
There is situation given to me to learn...
It is helping me to grow up...
I can only encourage myself like this...
And hoping that i will pass through...
There is nothing much that i can do..
There is nothing more for me...
Just wait....

And because he lives,
I can face tomorrow,
Because he lives,
All fear is gone,
And because i know,
He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because he lives....

Smiling is all that i can give...
Although i may have give up on my own life,
Someone still never give up on me...
So just smile...
I know one day i will recover...
Just hope that it will come very soon...
Smile, Princess Starry.....

Is been a long journey....
When i look back,
i just realize that i grow up a lot...
A lot of things make me grow...

Today,
Things happen unexpectedly...
Plan to go to uni with someone..
And when u wake up,
The someone tell u that,
She need to go to uni early...
Cos she forgot jor...
Time is running out...
I haven change my clothes...
So i say wait for me...
And she just took all her things and go to uni...
Leaving me there....
If you are in my situation,
What will you feel?
Will you be angry?
Whose fault is this???

I don know about you...
But my first reaction is angry...
I am angry...
How can she abandon me??
This is the first feeling that i have...
As i pray,
I can still feel the anger...
But learning to forgive...

First time find it angry is much easier than forgive...
Angry is easier...
Is easier to find people's fault than find own's fault...
Is easier to be angry at what people do than see that i am causing it....

Forgiveness,
I sound easier but is so hard...
Is really so hard....
I heard god asking me...
Are you really forgiving people from the bottom of your heart??
Is strike my heart...
A lot of times i am hiding the hurt down inside...
A lot of times, it just so hard to forgive....

If you ask me now,
Do i still angry??
I would say yes...
But i am learning to forgive....
Forgive those who hurt me..
Forgive those who make me angry...
Forgive myself for making all those stupid mistakes...

Learning is an ongoing process that never ends...
I am learning everyday...
Be a strong priincess...
Smile, Princess Starry...

女孩　越過小路爬上了山丘
那時的她還不懂為什麼　螢火蟲都不動
停駐在夜空　點亮了小小宇宙

女孩　慢慢長大卻還是懵懂
那時的她　還不懂為什麼大人們能抽空
為失戀喝杯酒卻沒空看看星空

不要　不要　忘了做過的夢
天上星星　彷彿聽她述說　興奮地閃爍

我要變成那一顆星星　整夜都亮晶晶
不怕陰暗的黑影　驕傲地閃不停
SHINING (SHINING) (SHINING)亮麗到月兒都妒忌
燦爛的一顆星星　一生也亮晶晶
因為夜歸的背影　有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇氣就在你手心

女孩　不再單純卻不夠成熟
這時的她　雖然懂為什麼美麗總有哀愁
每當有淚兒流　卻回到那個宇宙

女孩　有天將會到哪裡出走
哪時的她　總會問為什麼一個夢那麼重
只希望放棄前能想起那片星空

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star.

A long time ago, a little girl wanted to find her future.
She went to the mountains,　and asked the sky:
'Where's my future?' and just then a little star said:
'Sweetie, the future is in your hands!
Yes, the future is in our hands!

Yes i want to become a star...
That shine up high.....
No matter how dark the night can be....
As the night becomes darker,
A star shine so bright,
That even the moons envy at it....

I love stars....
It is so beautiful...
More beautiful than the moon....
Although the moon is brighter than stars,
Although the moon is more obvious,
Although the brightness of moon cause us cannot see the stars,
But stars still there...
Shining...
No matter wat happen..
It still shines...
Shining....

Starry,
Name given by myself...
Although weird...
I like it.....

Recently,
I am learning,
How to love myself...
Just be myself...
No need to become anyone...
No need to care what people thinks...
To me, 
How to love myself is hard...
The hardest is to don care how people thinks about me...
This is the hardest...
People single unintentionally reaction,
I may think much and start hurting myself...
To some extent,
I am weaker than wat people think....
So,
trying my best..
To love myself...
Just love myself...
Just be proud of myself...
Just be who i really am...
Just be the girl that god wants me to be...
:)

I am Princess Starry...
Happy Princess....
Cheerful Priinces.....
Strong Princess....
Kind princess.....
There are still too much for me to learn right now...
As long as i don give up,
I will reach my goal....

Starry,
A star that shines up high...
Shines brightly no matter what have happen......
:)

July 1

今天。。。

谢谢朋友。。。

陪我祷告。。。

让我能够得到自由。。。

没想到。。。

自己的问题在于拒绝。。。

我很在意。。。

害怕被人拒绝。。。

所以，

才会受伤。。。

让最爱我的神哭了。。。。

哭了过后，

我会更坚强。。。

我会更开朗。。。。

我会更加不一样。。。。

笑着过我的人生。。。。

人生就会不一样。。。。

要回家了。。。

超开心的。。。。

回去最好玩的。。。

就是和弟弟们聊天。。。

和弟弟们玩杀。。。。

超好玩的。。。

无法忘记和他们的一切。。。。

今天和他们聊了好久。。。。

我超想念他们的。。。。

和他们在一起。。。

我真的不必理会自己到底比他们大多少。。。

只许一起玩就好了。。。。

超开心的。。。。

今天，

虽然有笑也有哭，

不过，

总来说。。。。

是高兴的。。。

加油。。。。

作一个坚强的公主。。。

作一个开心的公主。。。

作一个靠神，爱神的公主。。。

我永远都是快乐的公主。。。。

J

Starry is happy here…

Happy that she is changing her life into a better person….

Happy that she really found her real purpose….

Happy for who she are…

Happy that she got a god who love her so much….

Happy that she know what she should do…

Happy for everything that she have…..

Happy for being a princess….

Happy….

Learning how to smile…

Learning how to be a person that she want to be….

No need to be perfect......

No need to be someone that people want her to be….

No need to carry so much burden….

As an elderest child,

Tends to carry too much thing on her shoulder…

But god teach me how to let go….

也许曾渴望拥有，

但你要我慢慢学习放手。。。

在每一分钟。。。。

现在我已经不同。。。

声明属你不属于我。。。。

甘愿成为你手中美好的工作。。。。

J

最近，

会emo一点。。。。

可是，

学习坚强。。。

就好了。。。

This post is written on 1 July...

Wondering why so late only post it??

When this is written, my hostel got no internet line...

When internet line come back, 

Too many things plus lazy...

So until now only update...

Is been a while since i wrote my blog...

Lazy plus no line ba...

Still got a lot of things to share...

Next time ba...

Good night world.... 

今天，
坐在湖边。。。
看着风景，
两年，
过的真快。。。。
已经两年。。。
有点快到无法相信。。。

刚来得时候，
不认识任何人的我，
感到好孤独。。。
总是一个人的。。。
到现在，
两年了，
认识的人多了。。。
看清了很多事。。。。
懂了很多。。。
发现，
自己变了。。。
变了。。。

因为少了一成保护成，
我受伤了。。。
心灵受伤。。。
也让我看到家人对我的爱。。。
也让我了解，
我是一个被保护的公主。。。
公主。。。
骄傲又自大的公主。。。。

自己还有很多东西可以学。。。。
不停的学。。。
这是我的目标。。。
:)

如果，
我可以为了失去陪伴我七天的礼物而哭泣，
那陪伴我八个月的呢？

我还是舍不得。。。
无法忘记他。。。
每当经过他埋葬的地方，
都任不足想看他的欲望，
明明知道，
他不可能回来了。。。
却不敬希望他埋葬的地方，
不会被猫发现。。。
这样就不会被吃掉。。。

可惜不是你，
陪我到最后。。。
真的，
谢谢你陪我这么久了。。。
是时候让你不再有痛苦了。。。
不在受伤了。。。
现在，
轮到我悲伤了。。。

天空在下着雨。。。
仿佛在哭泣。。。
我好想淋雨。。。
让自己湿透了才干愿。。。。
让雨水带走所有的悲伤，
让我能够从新振作起来。。。

我从来都不是一个坚强的女孩。。。
只是在逼自己坚强罢了。。。

今天，
玩了一个心里测验。。。
发现他很准。。。
在选着之中，
我选了黑色。。。
他代表着，
我是个会自己保护自己的人。。。
是个会收藏秘密的人。。。。
我觉得很对。。。
朋友曾经告诉我，
我是个很secretive的一个人。。。
普通人看不出我到底发生了什么事。。。
如果我不说，
每人知道。。。
妈妈花了一段时间。。。
才成功的让我学习透露心事。。。。

下雨了，
晚安。。。
我会更坚强的。。。
作一个坚强的公主。。。。
:)

哭了。。。。

今天，
我的宠物鱼死了。。。
感到超悲伤的。。。
我没有好好照顾他。。。。
才会让他生病。。。
病了好久。。。。
拖到现在。。。
才跟我说再见。。。

谢谢你，
陪了我八个月。。。。
不是很长的时间。。。
谢谢你，
陪我回家， 又陪我回来。。。
谢谢你，
为我忍受着漫长的车程。。。
鱼都不喜欢水一着在摇。。。。
你又如此胆小。。。
谢谢你。。。
真的谢谢你。。。
为我忍受。。。

你生病的时候，
我真的觉得自己很无能为力。。。
无法减轻你的痛苦。。。
让你吃不下。。。
让你无法自在的游。。。
真的很抱歉。。。。

我不是一个好主人。。。。
没有好好的照顾你。。。
也没有为你做任何事。。。。
让你一直生病。。。
对不起。。。

现在你的痛苦不在了。。。
你去到了一个很好的地方。。。
在那里， 不再有痛苦。。。
能自由自在的游。。。。

永别了。。。
这篇就是专门为你写的。。。。

我还不够成熟。。。。
我还不够坚强。。。
我还是那爱哭鬼。。。。
我还是不够珍惜东西。。。。
我还没学会应该要学的。。。。。
虽然现在还是很悲伤，
我会振作起来。。。。
加油。。。。
:)

好累哦。。。。
真的很累。。。。
却还有一大堆事情等着我去处理。。。。
最讨厌这种感受。。。
可是却无可避免。。。
这么说呢？？

先述说我现在的情况吧。。。
作了队长。。。
FYP开始了。。。
拿了比别人多一科。。。。
感觉身上的担子越来越重。。。
重的快喘不过气来。。。
这个学期才刚开始，
就已经出现这样的情况。。。
我无法想象过后会怎样。。。。
在别人面前，
早已习惯了。。。
笑。。。
笑的好开心。。。。
却把真正的心情给藏起来了。。。。

重新开始写回blog。。。
就听到了我的埋怨。。。
哈哈。。。

如果看透所有事情会换来伤痛的话，
我宁愿我从来都看不透。。。。
今天，
有听见朋友吵架了。。
他们是一对很好的朋友。。。
却会吵架。。。
每隔一段时间发生一次。。。
身为他们的朋友，
我总不知该如何是好。。。
真的不想他们吵架。。。。
可是， 他们还是会有纷争。。。
总是不了解对方在想什么。。。
因此而误会。。。

真的要开始长大了。。。
不能总是想个小孩子一样。。。
这句话，
告诉自己上千次了。。。
却从来没有一次作到。。。
我做不到。。。

曾经，
因为自己的幼稚，
而埋怨自己。。。
逼自己长大。。。
现在，
不了。。。。
别给自己这么大压力。。。
让自己自然而然的长大。。。
每天进步一点。。。
一点就够了。。。
让自己慢慢的长大。。。
慢慢的。。。
变的更好。。。

最近，
还是会幼稚。。。
学会了承担责任。。。
还每作到最好，
但在进步中。。。
很多事情，
我还是不敢去做。。。
还在学习中。。。

Smile starry...
The world is not as good as you think...
The world also not as bad as you think....
You have wonderful friends around you to support you...
Just give them a smile and saying everything is alright...
Everything will be alright...
Cos i have god with me...
My god is the almighty god...
Who can do everything...
Anything....
I can ask from him....
Anything...
Smile, Princess Starry.... :)

奢望啊，原来是如此美丽的东西！

当我读到这一句的时候，
真的深深的感觉到，
有时候，
奢望是如此的美丽，
有如此的伤感。。。。
很难解释现在的感受。。。
也无从解释。。。
就只是觉得超伤感的。。。
哈哈。。。

我这个小公主，
再这里过得很好。。。
明天又要去找妹妹。。。
感觉超幸福的。。。

我有全世界最好的爹地。。。
一个会抽空上来看我的爹地。。。
一个会带好吃的东西给我的爹地。。。。
一个会为我准备一切的爹地。。。。
我爱他。。。

突然，
想起最近玩游戏的时候，
被欺负是肯定的。。。
可是他们有会指点你，
教你怎样玩。。。
可是有会看你气的呱呱叫。。。
当你用超高音的声音讲话，
他们就会叫你冷静下来。。。
如果不是他们告诉我，
我从来都不知到自己的声音可以这么高音。。。。
高音到男生们都无法忍受。。。
哈哈。。。

现在的公主，
真的很幸福。。。
再自己的城堡里。。。。
：）

今天，
考试到一个段落了。。。
因为下一张在一个星期后。。。。
看到时间表的时候，
在呱呱叫。。。
我超想快点考完。。。
然后回家玩的。。。
现在不能了。。。
还有一点，
考试一旦停这么久。。。。
mood就会不见了。。。
真的不见了。。。
现在想在假期。。。。
玩， 睡的饱饱的。。。。
哈哈。。。。

朋友们都回家了。。。
可是，
我回去找我妹妹玩。。。
他还欠我一餐。。。。
哈哈。。

我发现，
每个人的读书方法都不一样。。。。
差好远。。。。
我朋友总看不出。。。
我压力的时候。。。。
总觉得我想是没有压力似的。。。
其实，
压力的时候，
我会躲起来。。。。。
一个人哭。。。
哭完了， 又站起来。。。

人生不可能完美。。。
时间不会为我而停。。。。
他也不会为我而慢下来。。。。
他是最公平的。。。
因为他对每个人都一样。。。
他给于每个人的时间都一样。。。
不会特别给谁多。。。
也不会特别给谁少。。。。。

还有两个星期，
我就回家了。。。
任性的公主要回家了。。。。
：）

Finals right now....
But then seems like no stress at all.....
Second one down......
Two more to go....
The next one coming very fast...
Haven start prepare....
Totally no mood...
Just now have a wonderful lunch with my friends...
And right now bombarding myself...
With nice and cool fast songs......
They are so hot....
Make me go crazy....
Haha...........

Let me laugh as much as I can.....
Cos next paper I will cry....
Hope not...
But is super hard....
Really......
Is well known killer subject....
I know it will be hard...
But I will do my best...
Then let god do the rest....

Today's paper I really thanks God...
I only use one and a half day to finish study and go into exam...
I even don have time to read the second time...
I just read through...
Read the tips...
Thats all....
I may be worried...
But when i see the paper,
I thanks God...
I know how to do....
but then is not a very good habit la....
To do everything last minute...
Although the pressure is very good...

Today, entering the hall...
See a sweet on the table...
Is like so nice...
Sugar is good for brain as they help u to think....
Think more...
Haha......

Two more paper to go...
And i am going to my home sweet home...
Miss home so much.....

Time to start study....
Princess will work hard here...
And do her best in this brand new castle...
Smile........ 

This study week is the most amazing study week in my life....
Is fun yet i am able to study....
Although the progress is super slow....
And one most important thing....
No stress....
Totally no stress at all....
Not like totally...
But even tomorrow I am having exam...
I haven finish study...
I still feel super relax...
Thinking there is still a lot of time where there is not much time left...
God really give me a different yet amazing study week....

Friends here,
are like my family....
Although they still cannot replace the importance of my true family, my church family and my shining friends in my heart....
To me,
I found a new place called home...
Princess has found a new castle....

Last week,
Actually i not really understand...
Until now...
I understand le...
I finally understand...
Time that we share,
Friendship that we have,
There is nothing can compare with it..... 
Although sometimes I still feel like shut myself out,
It lessen....
I really thank God for it....
God give me friends...
Friends that really care for me and help me....

I am not prefect..
I am still like a child...
Act like it...
Think like it....
Behave like it...
Still haven grow up and be more mature.......
I am forever a Princess...
In my own world....

Tonight,
chat with friends....
Got a chance to listen to their love story...
How they get together with their bf....
You will feel like...
I want one too...
I know,
I am still not good enough...
Too much weaknesses in my life...
I still need to grow....
Grow to be better....
I know I can...
And I am waiting for the one that god prepare for me...
Training myself..
To become better....

Princess Starry is fine here...
Fine in reality...
Fine in her own world...
Smile, Princess....
Be brave to face the obstacles ahead.....
:)

又伤到人了。。。
我就是这样。。。
总是学不会。。。。

今天，
我没想到，
我下手尽让这么大力。。。。
伤到人了。。。

现在感到超后悔的。。。
真的。。。
应该去道歉的。。。
还是怕怕的。。
不过，
我会鼓起勇气去道歉的。。。
毕竟错的人是我。。。

他真的很疼我。。。
是我的错。。。

世界上，
最难原谅的人，
是自己。。。。。。

加油，
我不想在作一个带次的人。。。。

God know whats ur heart one...
Today, i truly experience it...
Seriously....
Now let me start the story of my recent life....

So story starts with test marathon....
Non stop test and event....
Wed one, thursday, friday, saturday and Easter event on Sunday...
Monday test....
So, the test marathon ends on Monday but it is not the end...
Thursday got one more and next Wednesday got another test...

As stress builds up,
I realize one thing....
I cannot sleep...
I don dare to sleep....
Keep forcing myself to study....
I don feel that i am living in reality....
I feel like i am living in my dream....
But it is so real....
I fell pain when i hurt myself....
I keep hurting myself and i fell pain...
But it seems so unreal...
Feel like in a dream...
Really in a dream....
And i truly wish that it is in a dream.....

Second thing is i cannot cry....
I wish that i can cry...
Even though is in deep sadness...
No tears...
Totally no tears....
I cannot cry....

Stress plus missing home...
Making me miserable here.....
Making me not the girl that people used to know...
Even i myself find myself weird...
What have happen to me??
What make the person right now??
What cause me to be the person that is standing in front of you smiling??
I don like my smile...
I don like who i am right now...
But i cannot change it....
I wish that i can cry...
I really wish that i can cry...
Crying like a baby....
Let all the stress and sadness within me....
Flow out as tears come out...
I pray to god...
Saying that god, let me cry....
Let me cry, please....
Seems like nobody realize me being different...
Still the same me in appearance...
But i know i change.....

God see my heart....
Today i felt it...
Deeply...
I can be sure that God separate me and my sister for a reason...
He put us in different place for a reason.....
I know it...
Today i just felt that way...

So after today service,
My friends pray for me...
When i listen to their prayer,
I fell touched...
As they speaks out my problems...
They tell me what am i lacking in my life right now...
I cry...
Tears just fall down...

God understand me....
Really....
He knows that i miss home...
I miss home badly...
So, he give me a home here...
Friends that really like family to me....
Friends that would care for me....
Really take care of me...
People from other place,
They can see that our relationship is very close...
I really thanks god for that........
I really thank god for that..........

They help me to pray for a nice sleep..
I don think i am sleeping peacefully...
Stress and missing home find its way to haunt me....
Like today,
When singing songs,
Memories just fly to me....
One of the song today,
Remind me of my primary 6 trip...
My dad is worried...
But god use that song to tell him that,
His daughter is safe....
I am missing home...
But this is something that i need to overcome...
I miss home...
But i know i am going back home...
Soon...
Really soon....

Stress,
From study,
From family,
From everywhere...
Study is the most stressful one....
Really...
Plus i am worried of my family....
My sis and my daddy fighting..
I will be worried...
Even though my mum say don care about them...
But i still worried....

Today i got a feeling...
I believe is from god..
Tell me that i have a home here...
Here, is here...
Home...
A place where i can call home....
God knows it...
And he prepare a place for me to call home...
Home............

Study hard and study smart...
This is what i can do for now....
For right now....
God will lead my way...
As my life is in god's hand...

Princess Starry found a new castle here....
Now she got one more castle to protect her......
She will happy again...
Be a cheerful princess.....
And be a brave princess.......
:)

如果，
救一个人要牺牲另外一个人的性命，
你会为了救那个人而牺牲另外一个人的性命吗？？

如果，
那要死的人，
是你最爱的人？？
你会牺牲一个无辜的性命去救他吗？？

人的心，
是如此的脆弱，
又如此的刚强。。。。

我现在没有爱人，
所以无法体会那种爱到为了救他，
而牺牲另外一个无辜的性命。。。
现在的我，
真的觉得那样很傻。。。。
每一个人的性命，
是如此的珍贵。。。
是无价之宝。。。
不需要为了什么大义而牺牲掉。。。

什么是大义？？？
真的比人的性命还要重要吗？？
是值得人为了他而死的吗？？

不明白。。。
真的不明白。。。。
为什么？？
只觉得很伤感。。。。。

世界，
不能像我思想中的这么美好。。。。
他是残酷的。。。。。

只有坚强了。。。。
作一个坚强的公主。。。
：）

I'm coming home...
I'm coming home...
Tell the world that I'm coming home...
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday...
I know my kingdom awaits and they forgiven my mistakes...
I'm coming home...
I'm coming home...
Tell the world that I'm coming....
Home....

Home,
I miss u that bad...
Until i go shopping that time,
Memories keep coming into my mind...
Reminding me the time that i spend with my family and friends....
Seriously...
Walking through shops....
Seeing things....
Reminding me...
How i go shopping with them....
Feel like crying....
But no tears come out....

I still cannot cry....
First time,
I wish that i can cry..
I always believe that..
Crying actually make a person feels better....
After crying, I will be stronger...
To face the giant in front of me....

Yesterday, just watch battleship...
Learned new things...
So,
First thing is..
Don attack something u don know....
Attack it only activates it...
And destroy u...
When u know wat is it,
And understand abt it...
Then u can make a right decision.....
Doing something without a plan...
Is not a good thing...
Planning is important.....

Second one is...
Situation helps u grow....
When the highest position in the ship is the guy who is the male lead character....
Things force him to be mature...
To be responsible...
To work with his enemy...
To save his enemy...
To look things on another perspective....
To plan...
To learn from enemy....
It help him grow so much....

Have u ever think that every situation that u face is design purposely by god??
For the only reason that is to make u grow...
I grow a lot in here...
When my castle is taken away,
When the princess is forced to go out on its own,
Without any castle to protect her,
Is time for her to stand up...
And be a brave princess...
To face all circumstances...
To understand this world....
To solve problems without relying on others....
All this makes the princess grow.....
So, I grow a lot here....

Time to be more mature...
And study hard...
Wish me all the best....
I want to be a brave princess....

Princess Starry,
Smile...
Be strong and take courage.......
:)

Today drink too much vodka....
So feeling a bit dizzy...
Sleepy...
But waiting for my mum's call.....

This is not the first time I drink Vodka...
This is not the first time that i drink vine or beer.....
Actually i kinda like the taste of it....
Red vine is my favourite.....
The highest the percentage of alcohol,
the better...
I like the feeling where the alcohol burn my throat and move down to my stomach.....

I tell both my sis and godbrother....
They were like
' I want'
I am like, haha....
Wat do u expect me to do??
Haha....
I cannot deliver to JB....
haha...
:P

So i think i am going to find a time,
Drink Heineken...
With them...
Plus some of my bro ba.....
Cos they actually quite like...

So, how is today???
Surprise that I pass my test...
The test that i totally don know how to do de...
Luckily MCQ part save me...
I thank God for that.....

Sad cos i did not get any FYP title during the first selection...
Now passing up my second selection...
And wait for the lecturer to take me...
But through this,
There are friends really care of me...
Some are like: How u know..
Then i tell them...
My best friends were like : How r u?
U ok bo?
I feel touched...
Really..
They really care abt me....
Want to help me to overcome it...
 I really thank God for them....

Tired...
Cos yesterday chatting with my daughter...
Until 6am...
Is like whole night chatting...
I like to chat with her...
At least she know how to keep my secrets....
Not like my housemate...
Will really tell my secret out...
Haiz...
Just get used to it ba....

She is someone that very nice to chat with...
Really...
But today i really not happy as she revealed my secret away...
But, wat to say..
Just keep quiet...
Tats all....
haha....

Darling and my shining friends,
I miss u all so much....
My family,
Real Family and Church family,
I miss u all...
I miss my everything in JB....
Jb, I miss u so much....
Really...
But i know god throw me here for a reason....
To grow up more...

I know it..
But i cannot prevent myself from thinking to go back....
Especially when there is things happen...
Haha......

Going to work harder....
Smile starry...
No more crying....
But more smile....
Jia you, Princess Starry....
I am a Princess.......
A proud and brave Princess.......
:P

原来人悲伤到了极点是不会哭的。。。
不能哭， 原来这么痛苦。。。。
对于一个爱哭的我，
竟然不会哭，
好奇怪吧。。。。

真的。。。
我不会哭了。。。
可是却好想哭。。。。
谁有办法让我哭？
哭的痛痛快快的。。。

考试，
我不会做。。。
完全不会做。。。
平常的我，
早就哭了。。。
可是，
我竟然不会哭。。。
还对他没感觉。。。
想哭，
知道要哭，
却哭不出来。。。。

我很痛苦。。。
完全不知到底我的身体发生了什么事。。。。
竟然会变成这样。。。

姐妹们，
教我哭， 好吗？
让我哭的够，
才有办法复原。。。。

习惯了，
人前笑， 人后哭。。。
在人的面前， 我总是开心的。。。
我是真的很开心。。。
可是，
在人不知道的情况下，
就是这样。。。。

加油。。。
我是勇敢的公主。。。。。

Dear diary,
I have a great time today...
Yet sadness still find its way to reach me....
I am trying my best to get rid of the sadness...
But it seems impossible.....

Sound like a vampire diary one right...
When elena and stefan wrote diary,
They will be like,
Dear diary thing...
haha

So, let me talk abt today...
I have so much fun...
Badminton from 10.30am to 1pm...
Waterfall plus jungle tracking from 1pm to 5pm...
Captain ball from 5pm to 8pm...
Is really fun..
Plus my team got first in the captain ball thingy...

Yet sadness find its way here...
I miss home...
Seriously and badly...
Plus recently the topic around me...
Is all abt home...
Friends whose hometown so near...
They can go home...
Then even plan for next time going back...
I cannot...
Is just so far for me to go back....
And not enough time for me to go back...
I don want to waste money...

I can feel that my family miss me too...
Through phone call...
My mum also ask me see whether i can go back or not...
But i cannot....
Time does not allow me to go back...
I just don know that i have enough mental strength to support me for the coming month...
Where finals is coming...

During finals,
The feeling of missing home is greater...
As stress level increases and home is my place where i can relax and be who i am....
I know...
I will cry...
As this is the usual things happen.....

Home,
I miss u badly....
Really so bad....

Time to continue to study.....
Jia you, Starry...
You know you can....
Be a strong princess.....
And a more mature princess....
U cannot always protect urself in this virtual world...
Is time to face the cruel world...
Smile, Princess Starry...
Be a strong Princess....

I always think that i am a princess...
My character also similar to a princess character.....
But a girl with more compassion, caring, cheerful, mature, responsible, honest...
All those good character...
I want to develop it...
But i am not perfect...
Perfect is so stressful and is impossible....

I am a little Princess Starry......
Smile and be strong, Princess Starry.....

女人的眼泪，
就像钻石一样的珍贵。。。

有哭了。。。
我想回家。。。
想任性的吵回家。。。
可是，
我做不到。。。。

想。。。
真的真的很想。。。。
不顾一切。。。。
跑回家。。。
可是，
我做不到。。。。

我真的没办法想像。。。
如果我在外国。。。
一年只能回家一趟。。。
我会哭死吧。。

今天，
就让眼泪落下。。。
化成钻石。。。

坚强一点。。。
公主。。。
我要做坚强的公主。。。
 不被任何东西打到的公主。。。

加油。。。
Smile, Princess Starry.....
Be strong....

我寂寞寂寞就好。。。
是的，
一个人很寂寞。。。
被朋友丢下的感觉很不好受。。。。。
真的。。。
可是，我却没有抗议的选择。。。
因为曾经是背叛者的我。。。

真的很难过。。。
像是不存在似的。。。
人太小只了。。。
所以似乎可以躲在任何地方。。。。
不让任何人察觉到。。。。
所以可以躲着哭泣。。。。
哭完了，
才有能力在站起来。。。

人群中我悄悄地出走
Walk away, I wandered from the crowd
忘記了已流浪了多久
I’ve been lost, when will I be found
我的靈魂好孤單
Straying so far, I’m so alone
靜靜地讓往事沉澱
Where am I, so far from my home

找不到暫時的休息站
Wandering far, I think I’ve lost my way
一路上總忘記了被愛
It’s been long since love has touched my face
我的記憶已空白
Mem’ries of past has faded away
下一站哪裡是未來
Where is hope, and where is my home

我記得你說你愛我
Then you said how you loved me
不論往何走你仍抱著我
I remember how you’d hold me close
淚光中似乎看見你的臉
Through the tears I can see your loving face
原來你一直在我身邊
You have been with me wherever I was

我願意讓你來愛我
I will run to your open arms
不願一個人好孤單地走
Never walk away alone anymore
我相信愛與被愛那麼真實
I believe that you love me as I am
在你微笑中 我似乎在天堂
When you are with me, it’s like I’m in heaven

I am just like the verse....
So lonely...
Finding a place where i can hide...
Don know where my future is..........
Hiding from ppl....
I forget of the love...
Ppl love towards me...
And my love towards ppl..........

Seriously emoing....
Seems like every sem is like tat....
Just hope that i can stand up once again...........

Smile, starry............
I really need to smile...
Don want others to worry about me...
But i don have a steel heart.........
That can counter - act with all the sadness...........

我是孤独的公主。。。。

好累好累。。。。
好想找一个地方。。。
一个没人认识我的地方。。。。
一个安静的地方。。。
静静地。。。
过我一生。。。。。
哈哈。。。

我好想把自己关在房间。。。。
什么也不想。。。
只想好好地睡一觉。。。。。
没有任何人任何东西将我吵醒。。。。。。。。

好想躲在一个地方。。。。
将悲伤忘了，
重新找回快乐。。。
重新找回人生的意义。。。。。。

现在的我。。
好像睡哦。。。。
哈哈。。。
晚安。。。。

想家。。。
离家已经一个月多了吧。。。。
好的像弟弟一样的朋友。。。
在问着我几时回来。。。
我只能说五月才能回来。。。

haiz.....
不是我不要回，
而是我不能回。。。
真的好像回家玩。。。
玩的像疯子一样。。。
而他们也不介意。。。
习惯了。。。
习惯跟他们玩到发疯。。。
我们都有不同的责任。。。
都会先做完了才玩。。。
有时候一起合作。。
有时候各自有各自的岗位。。。
和他们在一起，
真的很快乐。。。。

或许我还不够成熟。。。。
只想躲会自己的安乐窝。。。
不想面对所有的一切。。。

总是学不会，
再聪明一点。。。
记得自我保护。。
必要时候讲些善意谎言。。。

这首歌，
听起来伤感。。。
我要快乐，
我也很快乐。。。

哈哈。。。。

雨天。。。
雨不停的下。。。
似乎天在哭一样。。。
不停的下。。。
让人感觉一丝丝的伤感。。。
哈哈。。。

最近，
每天都在下雨。。。

怎样的雨， 怎样的夜，
怎样的我们会让你更想念。。。。

哈哈。。。。

最近，
遇到了两个男生，
能够让我做会真正的自己。。。
能够让我尽情的玩。。。
能够让我述说心事。。。
能够陪着我聊天。。。
会帮我， 又会把我气地呱呱叫。。。
会教我新的东西。。。
真的很好玩。。。

两个像个哥哥一样，
或许我还是那长不大的孩子吧。。。
哈哈。。。

能够认识你们，
我感到很感恩。。。
我们不是认识很长的时间。。。
却能够互相了解，
这或许就够了。。

人生能有一个知己。。。
就已经很幸福了。。。

我有最珍贵的角落。。。

可是我也好想念，
我的好弟妹们。。
在家乡那。。。
好像回家哦。。
哈哈。。。

好想好想。。。
穿着漂亮的裙子。。。
把自己打扮的漂漂亮亮的。。。
穿着高跟鞋。。。
哈哈。。。

看了朋友的结婚照。。。
很漂亮。。。
还有其他朋友的照片。。。
真的好想穿的漂亮。。。。
可是在这里有一点不可能。。。
为什么？
因为很不方便。。。
骑脚车去学校。。。
不可能穿裙。。。
大多数漂亮的衣服。。。
我没带来。。。
所以不能。。。

哈哈。。。

为什么能够和你聊一整夜？？？
我跟他们只认识了一个月。。。
却能够聊很多。。。
不停的在聊。。。。
他们比我大一岁。。。
却能够了解彼此。。。

好男人很难找。。。
或许， 我从来都没去找过。。。

我很快乐。。。。
想睡觉了。。。
下次在写吧。。。

Damn sad....
My hard disk got problem....
And i cannot do anything about it...

Thinking of sending it to repair under warranty...
But the warranty card not with me...
Don know where my mum put jor...
Plus my house just undergoes renovation......
So, everything is super messy.........
One more thing, i need to send it to KL...
For repairing...
To me, I find it troublesome...
I pray so hard wishing that it just small problem...
But yet it is a big problem.......
haiz...
I seriously don know wat to do...
It is not as convenient as my laptop..
Laptop got a lot of shop can be repair...
Hard disk is like so hard..............

Cry.........
I am weaker than wat i think...
I am not as strong as i think...
I got no one to share my sadness with...
Even u ask me to share my sadness with u..
I probably reject and give u a very sad smile...
Don like to share my sadness....
Sadness is something that i would just hide it.........

Thinking...
Maybe i put the wrong things as first in my life...
I am putting money as first in my life...
Non christian maybe wondering...
But we christian put god as our first...
This should be the right way...
Seems like i put the wrong sequence...
So, experience something sad...
Don ask me abt it...
Cos i won tell u...

I really hope that it can be solve......
In an easy way...
But like is not as easy as i think, right???
I am just a girl.......
I really wish that i can lock myself in the virtual world...
But yet i cannot...

Sorry, post something so sad and emo...
But this is wat i feel right now...
Really really sad....
Hope tomorrow will be better...
All my problems can be solved....
Wish for it to happen so badly....

Lord, I offer my life to you...
Everything I've been through...
Use it for your glory...
Lord, I offer my days to you....
Lifting my praise to you...
As a pleasing sacrifice...
Lord, I offer you my life.........

Feel so embarrass....
When things happen and I don know wat to do or could not take it,
I cried and complaint to God...
Asking a lot of whys...
Really...
Telling him i really cannot take it...
It often comfort me with peace...
Give me peace...
I maybe troubled by it...
With him and time,
It heals...
Although stop bleeding, scars still remain...
Constantly reminding u....

So Sorry...
Today talk about god again...
I am proud to be christian....
Happy always...
Hope that this time i won take too much time to heal.... 

听着天空这首歌。。。
看着天空。。。
他在下雨。。。

雨天，
让人感觉伤感的天气，
让人想念过去的天气，
让人想起悲伤的天气，

钢琴，
我的最爱，
也是我最恨的，
对他，
总是又爱又恨，
矛盾吧。。。。

听起来， 很emo吧。。。
哈哈。。。
我过得很好。。。
真的。。。
因为雨天吧。。。


乌云乌云快走开。。。。。
哈哈。。。。

每天我都很快乐。。。。
笑着国我的每一天。。。。

：）     

Tomorrow got a test....
Still playing and blogging today...
Damn cool, right??? haha....

Just something make me sad...
As usual...
Sad story....

I wish life is wonderful...
But it never been a wonderful before...
This is life...
This is reality....

Even a sad story can make me sad...
Wat about really sadness???
It really took me time to heal...
Time is the best healer...
I cannot deny that......

This is a very random post.....
Just don know why....
Just feel sad and lonely....
Maybe after my roommate move in,
I would be ok....

Life is as usual....
Stress then i will miss home...
I know it...
I could not be a kid everyday...
One day, I have to grow up...
But i don want...

Life is hard...
But with God I can do everything...
God bless me...... 

New Year....

OK.....
I stop blogging at 200 post....
The number is so nice, right???
haha....
Cos at home...
Back in JB....
I cannot say totally no trouble....
But is just more happier than being in Kampar....
So, nothing to say.....
Although a lot of things happen,
Nothing has inspire me to write something about it....

So why did i write today???
Cos tomorrow i am going back to study....
Is being a tradition for me....
Before i leave, i will definitely cry...
Tears just come down automatically....
No matter how strong i pretend i am....
Haiz....

Don feel like going back...
Seriously....
My only wish is just be together with my family forever.....
Happy Always.......

Tell u more next time....