Trip Back to JB.....

Happy.............

Cos i get to go back to JB...........

Wanted to give my friends a surprise.

So keep quiet...

But some knows la...

Haha........

Now start my journey........

I finish my class in Thursday...

I change all my class on friday to wed and thurs........

So i go KL first to meet my sister there........

And then we have Mcdonald...

Haha...........

Long time never eat ady......

So have a chat with my sister...

And go online..........

Then chat with my Hazel Jie Jie.....

We have a wonderful chat...

And i realize my sister is so good in travelling....

Haha..........

Wanted to sleep early but end up sleep late.......

Then on Fri, my sis go see doctor first..........

Cos of her nose.......

And i was like a statue for 2 and half hours in the hospital...

My Aunt accompany us there....

And i was sitting outside....

Want to sleep.......

Cos of waiting.......

My phone ady low battery.......

So cannot play.....

Haiz......

Then we go back to JB..........

My dad come and fetch us ..............

Then go buy books for my sister.........

And i saw the Twilight Series....

Haha......

I got the whole set ady....

And i finish reading....

But my dad don know...

Then i go to my grandmothers house......

I love my grandmother's cooking....

Bak Kut Teh.......

Egg.......

Fish....

Fried Meat........

That night, i have a wonderful dinner........

I ate more than normal amount.....

2 to 3 times more.....

Everyone was like shock......

Then, we chat and play with my cousins............

Finally get to watch Singapore Channel 8.............

Cos here no TV..........

I lose weight ady....

Everyone was like

'hei u look darker and thinner....'

Haha....

But my aunt say that i seems like not enough nutrition.......

I was shock........

Stay overnight there and when back to my house....

Then meet up with the monster.....

They are my students.........

Cos i work as tuition teacher before.......

We chat and have fun..........

Long time never shout at them........

Haha.........

Is fun to teach them.....

Cos we have a lot of things to chat and play......

They were telling me that they become quiet since i left....

And they did not go early anymore........

And they tell me about the new teachers things.......

I miss the time with them............

Can bully them...........

They still bully me back........

Haha........

Then went to church.....

Give my friends a surprise..........

I feel so touched is when i hear my friends say welcome back to me.............

I did not tell the a lot of people that i am going to study ady........

Only some people that are so close to me.........

Is really so good to be back......

But my hands was so itchy......

That desire to play piano still in me...........

Until i have to escape from there.........

Haha.........

We purposely choose that week cos we know got event.......

Then we ended up helping them........

Is so good to play with them.......

At there, they are playing music.......

Then we hear one song.......

Cos i involved in Mother's Day presentation.....

And is a dance.......

So we started dancing........

A few of us....

Those who are involved........

Haha.........

Again dancing in high heels is fun....

Then have dinner with them.......

So sad some of my friends cannot join me......

Then i get to know the planing in next year.....

Cos before i came to study, i was a chief musician in that department...........

On sunday, i wanted to see my friend play guitar but he been ask to play drum.....

His drum is better that his guitar..........

Then, back to my old life for 30 minutes............

Then i have to leave and come back to Kampar........

In this trip, i get to meet with my brothers............

But still feel sad...

Cos not enough time.....

And they are some that i did not meet..........

But i will always miss them...

I did not go and see him...

Cos i want my heart to die......

Silly starry......

I love u all..

My family and friends..............

I will miss u all........

Past........

I start blogging for almost one year ady...........

And i find that......

I am really an emo girl.......

One things is for sure.......

There are certain things Szeung cannot do it.......

The real me in life cannot do it........

The real me in life cannot say it........

The real me in life cannot express it........

The real me in life don know how to tell others.......

The real me in life face a lot of problems.......

The real me in life don know how to face it.......

The real me in life don know how to solve it........

But through starry, Szeung is stronger.........

Cos starry can say it out......

Starry know how to express it out......

Starry knows how to write in on blog.......

Starry knows how to relax herself..........

Don think that i got two personalities...........

Haha........

Starry and Szeung is the same...........

But yet a bit different........

The virtual one is not real....

So thats why people cannot see that side of me.............

But Szeung is the real me.......

Is someone people can see.....

Is someone who people know...........

Is someone who people can scold one..........

Last year, my blog was like totally secret.......

Now u can find details about the real me............

I started to directly tell others that this is my blog.....

Haha.......

I am still very emo.........

But in this world, i still prefer to be starry.......

But in the real way.......

I prefer to be Szeung...........

It just the name different...

The person is still the same....

I am normal and happy for who i am...

Haha...........

Humans are complicated...........

So do I.......

Love........

Today, because of someone,

I think of him again..............

But i know i have to let go....................

And put it into the pandora box.............

A box that should not be open.........

A box that should be bury deep inside my heart............................

After that,

Starry is stronger again.............

Starry won think about him again...............

Starry will have a happier life............

A life without him.........

But yet happy......................

Starry still anti-g*** a bit..............

haha...................

So don worry.....................

This things will go away one........

When i meet someone................

Haha................

Today starry a bit emo...............

Maybe starry need to adjust herself............

Haha...................

Starry will be smiling again......................

And not the emo starry...............

haha.................

Brothers....

Just now call one of my godbrothers and chat for half an hour.....

Is like so funny..........

I was laughing like crazy...........

He is my first younger brother.........

And the one i love so much..........

I got 6 younger brother....

That is why...

When my sis hear me say that i got a new brother....

She was so shock and shake her head........

I was laughing like crazy.............

The 6 of them was very close to me........

I have know them for quite sometime..........

And each help me a lot........

Sometimes seems like i am younger than them.........

I miss the time where i play basketball with them........

I miss the time where we play musical instruments together.........

I miss the time where we can go out together to watch movie.....

I miss the time where i can bully them........

Haha.........

But they still bully me back.......

And laugh at me..............

6 younger brother........

6 different character................

Each of them are special and unique......

And they all know how to play one kind of instruments........

Some are really good.......

Some just start learning..........

Some know my secrets.........

Some have see me get sick........

When i am sad, they support me........

When i am sick,they take care of me.......

When i am emo, they are by my side.......

I miss them all.........................

How i wish i can go back to JB............

Leaving..........

Leaving is the saddest thing.......

But sometimes is best for us...........

Even though how hard it is,

You know that there will always be sweet memories following you.......

In a new place,

Leaving something that you are so used to it.......

You cannot get used to it......

The feeling of wanted to go back to that time.........

The feeling of going back...........

I believe everyone has that kind of feeling.............

Doubting that can i ever make it........

Worried that can i get used to it............

But still this makes a person stronger.........

Teach u that don run away from problems............

Don escape it............

But face it with bravery and confidence............

When i leave JB,

there are so much things that i don know...........

there are so much fear.......

and gulity........

regrets.....

worry.....

doubts..............

At here, is been seven weeks...........

I really thankful to my friends.....

My best friends..........

I get to know some new friends..........

And happy that they accept me for who i am.........

And the sweet memories from JB keep me strong here............

I am growing stronger here......

I won let anything that beat me again............

But i will face every problems with bravery and confidence.............

I really want to say thanks to all my friends here..........

I enjoy the time i have with you all........

Specially to Kacee, Janice, Hwee Mein, Kexin............

Thanks a lot for all your help..........

Love u all............

Recently........

My lifestyle is disturb...........

I cannot wake up early........

Cannot sleep early...........

Haiz..........

Need to adjust back to normal............

Really........

Or else, i could not study and work hard for exam............

Haiz...........

My Japanese Teacher is right.......

I must work hard...........

Cos my parents spend a lot of money in order for me to study........

So i need to work hard in order to return them back..........

Starry need to be more hardworking...........

Smile..............

Today was like..........

Where is my girls friends???

Cos it seems like i only be with them for short time..........

And u could not believe this.............

Today, my duty or assignment members are guys............

Not a single girls..........

The first one is the fun fair duty.....

I need to do back drops with my friend which is a guy........

I cannot deny that he is good........

But i still feel very weird...........

I have been in girls school for seven years.......

But now have to step out of it...........

The second thing,

When i was study in library,

I kena bully by one guy...........

He always ask question and don allow me to find the answer....

Haiz.....

I was like what should i do.....

Everything i study,

I forget ady.........

Haiz..............

The third thing,

My Japanese presentation,

Four person in a group,

And i am the only girl.......

And one of them is a guy i hate..............

OH MY GOODNESS...............

Wat should i do...........

Just hope it can end finish............

And i was laugh by one of the members......

He was like.....

' ei, u same tutorial class with me. U too short ady, cannot see u.'

I was like so angry..........

Wat to do........

I want to get my presentation mark............

Haiz..........

I hate this kind of guys..................

There are five guys that i am going to work with.............

Three are good.......

Two are bad...........

Haiz..........

God, i need your strength...................

Genius........

Actually i hate being a genius........

Cos without God, I cannot do it........

But everyone was like u are so smart.......

So sorry.......

My wish is to be a normal girl.......

In uni....

I did not even tell people how i did for SPM and STPM..........

But still people see me as a genius.......

Is like i really don want to be a genius.............

Hate being a genius.......

Living in people praise for almost my whole life.......

Can i be a smart girl but i don want people to know?

It seems like impossible.....

Silly starry...........

Starry play too much ady........

But still thank God............

Cos of my result...........

But to others...........

This is wat they want ady.............

Haiz............

I thank God for helping me.......

I know all glory to God............

But i still don want people to know about my past glory............

Cos starting here...........

Starry going to strip all her proud away............

And be a true starry............

Starry don want people to have an impression that........

'You sure can do it cos last time ur result so good...'

But i will work hard to show others that i can do it...........

And the most important is that starry don want let her parents down again............

But make her parents proud........

Starry, u can do it.......

With gods help.......

With friends support......

With family's support..........

Kampate Starry............

Grow stronger here.........

And shine like stars..............

The greatest love........

The greatest love in this world.......
Is that you can die for the other person.......
Just now the sad story.......
Indeed is sad.........
Cos after been through so much together yet cannot be together........
Cos the guy die on the wedding day............
But they love each other till the end.......
Cos the last part is like.....
Th guy say that he love her in the other world........
To me,
This is the greatest love......
Knowing that there will always be someone loving you......
Their love cannot be separate by death.............
Even death cannot separate them.............
We always hear people say till death do us apart........
Have we ever think that there is a possible where even death cannot seperate the lovers???
I think is possible......
Cos we can always put them in our mind and thoughts........
This is the greatest love........
Love that no one and nothing can stop them.............

Love is something that u wish to have.........
Love makes a people selfless.....
Instead of myself,
Care of others first..........
I want to be that kind of person.......
But this makes my friends worry for me..........
This make me think of one incident.........
Where i am sick...
Cos gastric pain.......
But yet care for my friends.....
Who feel dizzy........
Then i kena scolded.......
Haha..........
Someone say this to me....
Don worry..........
You take care of urself la...............

I really wish that i can find someone who love me like that..........
But i wish i can leave before him......
So that i won feel sad..............
So that i won regret or blame myself..........
You may think that i am selfish......
But i am not strong enough to endure that..........
I don know......
Maybe the current me cannot.......
But in future,
When i am stronger,
Then, I can..............

I really want to wish that
All couples can have a wonderful time.........
All love story has a wonderful ending........
Everyone can be with their love one.............
Happy Forever.......

I will be waiting........
For the time to meet my other half......
Really hope that one day,
I will be able to get married.......
Confirm not now............
But few years later........
Silly starry............

Sleepless night......

Don feel like sleeping........
Cos of a sad story.......
I know i fake one.......
But still feel sad for them.......
Haiz.......
Starry is still so naive...........
Haha............

The blog skin is somehow like my feeling now...
Wanted to escape.........
From this world..........
I don know why......
Maybe is the emo me come back again...........
Haha.............
Stupid starry...........

Starry is happy here........
With her friends.......
But she will never ever forget the family and friends in JB..........
Starry is still a girl who love music.........
Who love to play.........
Who does not like an young adult..............
Haha.............

The meaning of Sorry to me.............

Sorry is something a person do.........
Sorry does not cure everything...
But show that someone regret for wat he or she does.........
Kill a people and say sorry does not bring back the person that is killed......
But is a form of regrets.........
Humans are complicated....................
I am too....................
I hate that kind of person who don appreciate things..........
Sorry is wat i want to say when i hurt someone............
If u don want the word.........
Fine..........
I won say it to u again..............

Sorry is really wat i meant............
Is kinda angry..........
But this tell me one thing....
U r not a good person..........
And u r not worth to be my friend...........

So sorry..........
Our friendship over........
I won care abt u anymore.............
I won say a thing to u anymore...........
Cos i ady did my part by showing my regret.............
And i think that it is not worth it............

HUMANS ARE COMPLICATED.........
SO DO I..............

Sorry.......

This is wat i always want to say to u....
Cos u make me so scare..........
Cos that time i only treat u as a big brother that dote me a lot...........
Maybe cos i look like a kid.......
I could never think that u will say that to me.......

So sorry........
I have to admit it.......
I scare of u before.....
I hate u before..........
But is now all over........
I don know will we ever be friends again............
But i still wish u all the best.......

I am here fine.........
I am so blessed........
Wherever i go, there will be someone who will dote me...........
Here also........
My friends dote me a lot.........

Starry is still a little kid......

Promise........

Every time when the rain hits me,
It reminds me about the promise that i make........
Forget about u.......
Is wat i can do..........
There is nothing that i can do anymore.......
Since i left,
I have always keep the promise...........
Actually i am a fool.....
Why do i keep liking u ???
When u not even know........
Silly me...........
The silly girl has a great life here....
At kampar.......
The silly girl meet some nice friends.......
And some guys too....
Like my last post.......
I am not into any relationship this sem........
Maybe this year............
I know....
I will wait for my Mr.Right.............
A guy whom god has give me............

Wanting to grow up...
Cos don feel like be a kid anymore.......
But is hard..........
Today is a bit emo.......
Don know why.......
Maybe is the rain.....................

Just want to tell my friends.........
I have fulfill my promise......
I have really let go ady...........
I hope u all also fulfill ur promise ady............
I really enjoy the time with u all...........
Smile starry...........
Every step that i take, the stronger i become............
Kampate starry.............
Starry don want to love anyone......
But love her best friends and family...........
My real family, my school family, my church family..........
My best friends...........
LOVE YOU ALL..............